I Always Feel Like.....

Who's watching
Tell me, who's watching
Who's watching me

Work on a Monday. My intense pounding of the keyboard is what gives it all away. Not that he notices the Ginga incessantly foot stomping in his desk area, oh no.

I'm just an average man
With an average life
I work from nine to five
Hey, hell, I pay the price
All I want is to be left alone
In my average home
But why do I always feel
Like I'm in the twilight zone

Anyway, that is my life at work. Ever since I got my 'talking to' a year ago, my boss is highly suspicious of what I do on my computer. Which is crap. First of all, I always get my work done, so I wish he'd stop fucking worrying about 'what I'm getting up to' because obviously it's OKAY.

And (I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
And I have no privacy
Whoa...oh oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Tell me, is it just a dream

It's funny actually, I spent a large part of my life convincing myself that most people don't give a shit what you get up to. It's the legacy of teenage angst I think, when you think the world revolves around you, and everyone must be considering you at all times. Of course they aren't, they're too worried about their own little world of satellites and how everyone is thinking about them all the time. When you finally figure out that no one cares about what you are wearing and what you are doing and ever miniscule detail of your life, then you are well on your way to adulthood.

When I come home at night
I bolt the door real tight
People call me on the phone
I'm trying to avoid
But can the people on TV see me
Or am I just paranoid

Of course blogs are a funny counterpoint to that realization. Because of course the only reason for people to visit your blog is to examine your minutiae that you happen to jot down. So in point of fact, you are being watched and examined and analyzed. But I suppose this time at least, it's at your own behest.

When I'm in the shower
I'm afraid to wash my hair
'Cause I might open my eyes
And find someone standing there
People say I'm crazy
Just a little touched
But maybe showers remind me
Of 'Psycho' too much
That's why

At lunch today though lots of people were watching me and tlsd. Although I'd like to say it was because they were surprised to see me there, me, who never eats in the kitchen (or in the office for that matter) at lunch, but no, what they were truly mesmerized by was the lasagna that tlsd made. Everyone kept commenting on it. Like, dudes, go get your own because my biznatch brought me lasagna and you can't have any. Seriously.

(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
And I have no privacy
Whoa...oh oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Who's playin' tricks on me

Last night I had a bit of an IM with Mr.Ball. It was good to touch base since he'd been missing for so long. Though perhaps it was odd, as he seems quite stressed and busy. I suppose the one question I didn't ask him was 'are you okay'? Though I don't know that he'd tell me if he wasn't. Still, he's not dead or apparently completely ignoring me, so that's alright.

(Who's watching me) I don't know anymore
Are the neighbors watching me
(Who's watching)
Well, is the mailman watching me
(Tell me, who's watching)
And I don't feel safe anymore
Oh, what a mess
I wonder who's watching me now
(Who)
The IRS

I've been working on this blog now for ages. Started it at work, now it's half past nine. Have I studied tonight yet? No. Fuck me. Seriously, fuck me. What is wrong with me? I just can't make myself do it. I know that I need to. Inside I'm at a dead panic that I need to do this and yet what am I doing? Not studying. I'm retarded. I can't think of any better explanation.

(I always feel like) (Somebody's watching me)
And I have no privacy
Whoa...oh oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Tell me, is it just a dream

Well, here's the last installment. Damn that was a long song. I never knew. All I really wanted was the chorus. All I really was thinking was that my boss was watching me and I didn't like it. And then everyone wanted my lunch and I didn't like that either. And then I had lots to space to fill. And then I felt bad for not studying. Oh, and I talked to my mom in the meantime as well. So what to do now? Study I guess. While watching television of course. I mean come on, Fight School is on!

(I always feel like) (Somebody's watching me) And I have no privacy Whoa...oh oh (I always feel like) (Somebody's watching me) Who's playin' tricks on me (Who's watching me) (I always feel like) (Somebody's watching me) Ooh... Whoa...oh oh (I always feel like) (Somebody's watching me) So? Who can it be (Who's watching me) (I always feel like) (Somebody's watching me) Whoa...oh oh (I always feel like) (Somebody's watching me) Who's playing tricks on me (Who's watching me) (I always feel like) (Somebody's watching me) Can I have my privacy Whoa...oh oh (I always feel like) (Somebody's watching me) Who's playing tricks on me