01 June 2013

Ho Hum

And the mood persists.  I feel very emotional.  Been tearing up for no reason.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I've been tearing up when thinking about things that upset me which are valid to have upset me but maybe aren't worthy of tears.

I was trying to think to myself, what is it I need?  What can I do to change how things are?  What is it that I want someone else to do to help me snap out of it and can I not find a way to do that for myself?  But I honestly couldn't work it out.  The best I could come up with was, "Stop acting like a twat." and we all know that's not very helpful.

T and I went to the textile museum today to check out the Kaffe Fassett exhibit which was pretty cool.  Glad we went, glad we got to spend some time together.  Got to check out the engagement ring.  I could have, at any point, expressed to her what I'm going through but as it was all that happened was I touched up on how things had gone with S while in the States and how much it upset me and I teared up and then that was it.  I didn't say any more about it.  Didn't say how stressed I felt.  Mainly because I couldn't justify simply complaining without being able to ask for something.  Which brings me back to where I started.  I don't know what it is I need to snap out of this.  I don't know what someone else can do for me to make me feel better.