17 June 2010

A Bit of Ease

Today went off without a hitch. In fact, it possibly went off well. This was the best possible outcome and I am incredibly relieved. After my blog last night, I continued to work until half past midnight. But it all came together in the end, like it tends to. And the day with the students was rewarding. So it was all good.

This was probably one of the bigger things weighing down on me this week, so to have it be completed is a huge relief. Even though I still have an incredible amount of work to do in the next few days, and a camping trip to go on, I feel like I can breathe a little bit easier.

I feel like I've crossed the peak. There's still a lot to do, but this is all the downhill now. It seems more manageable. Though if I consider it, I'm not sure why. There's so much to do in the next seven days. I guess this one day made all the difference because it was the thing I felt the least confident about. The least sure of. Everything else, though much to do, is all things I know that I know how to do. Somehow that makes it all easier.

Aside from this huge sense of relief, there isn't much to say about today compared to yesterday. I met up with S after teaching in town. We went for drinks with people from his office. That was nice. Always good to catch up.

Honestly, I'm not sure how I fit everything in sometimes. My life is always either manic or dull. I don't seem to get to that in between stage of perfectly balanced commitments and free time. It seems all or nothing with me. On the plus side, in these manic times, it honestly leaves very little time to ponder other things. So much time thinking about everything I need to do - no time at all to just sit around and be maudlin.

16 June 2010

Stretching It

I am drowning in work. Drowning in commitments. Trying to have and do it all. Keeping my nose above the water line. I always knew that this was going to be a rough month. In fact, while I was Stateside, this was frequently on my mind- all the work I was going to have to come home to. It's really this week and next week which are killers, then it all sort of relaxes. So it's not long to go now. It's just in the thick of things.

Just now I'm preparing for a teaching day tomorrow. It's 11pm and I'm not quite done. I've printed out all the stuff I've put together for the first half of the day, but I haven't even written the handout for the second half of the day. This is how my life goes. I just needed a mental break, hence the blog.

Life is good though. I got my UK citizenship last week- so now I'm an Ameri-Brit. It only took seven years. But dual citizenship is pretty cool. It hasn't quite sunk in yet. I don't know if I'll ever truly feel 'British'. I think that after seven years of feeling like an outsider, it's going to take a little bit longer to suddenly accept that I'm one of them!

I've been staying up in Cambridge more- I got a room sorted up there. It's good, but it means that I tend to spend two nights a week commuting. This is two nights a week that are taken away from socializing and it puts a lot more pressure on the other five. And of course only some of those are in London and some of those are in Cambridge. It's the things you don't really think about I guess. How it adds to the stress. But it's better to stay up there than commute daily. I like my little room and the family whose house it's in, and the house for that matter.

So yeah, life is good. As usual, the only thing not good is a lack of a relationship. My most recent fling turned into a flake. Very disappointing. Just now I'm giving up on all of that for a while. At least for the very near future while everything else is a mess. I just can't be bothered to think about it. If I do I just get discouraged and disgruntled. And as I say, pretty much everything else is going well. Relationships can't be the end all and be all of how I define myself, so I won't.

At any rate, I need to finish off this handout. No more procrastinating tonight!