11 April 2010

Fire in the Disco

Well, last night was interesting.

Last night was Club Crimson. H picked me up and we headed south of the River to have dinner at G's. Originally, Heathrow was also coming, but he canceled. I should back up to say that this vaguely originated out of last weekend, which was the Japanese Rope Bondage festival thing and H, Heathrow, and G all came over to mine for dinner before we headed off to that. So G was reciprocating the gesture.

At any rate, I suppose I should also back up to say that there had been some nice play at the Japanese event. Me and G topped H, H and G topped me, and Heathrow topped H and me at the same time. So that was all fun. It also established some of the setting for us to play with each other again.

I should also back up to say that I met G because he contacted me on IC and we went on a date. Then nothing happened for a while, then we met up again for a fun evening out. He was hard to read though. I didn't get the impression he necessarily wanted anything, but he would keep showing up, an email here and there or a text. And I like him, and think he's cute so while I wasn't waiting around for him, I also wasn't averse to just seeing where it went, in whatever time it took.

So there we are. H picks me up last night and we drive to G's. We're a bit late because of traffic, but that's okay. We get there and settle down to a very nice tofu and soy bean stir fry with noodles that I wouldn't mind getting the recipe for, some wine, and then I brought dessert. Then we all got changed and headed to the club, about an hour or so late, but that was also okay.

The club was okay. They had set up for some performances which meant they'd changed the layout a bit which I think wasn't quite as good. It mean there were less individual areas to set up for play, and also I think the performances somewhat broke the mood or tone for a play club. Also, with the growing desire for rope stuff, there were some new frames that were absolutely massive. There was a double frame (that could really have held four sets of players) and then one massive frame in the other room. Maybe they could have done away with the one in the other room. I just thought it didn't quite work as well.

At any rate, I spent the initial half of my evening generally socializing and trying to get into a better mood for stuff. There seems to be some drama with some folk and that was upsetting H and me, and then there was E who was a bit drunk and perhaps contributing to this drama (though not necessarily in a bad way, because I think she was saying things that probably needed to be said, it just wasn't helping the evening was all). So even though I'd packed my toy bag, I wouldn't say the tone was quite right within my group of friends for doing much play. There were some staples going on (not in me) but that was about it.

So I wandered around here and here, looking at some performances, watching some other scenes, trying to identify people from their online photos, and feeling perhaps slightly mellow and trying to get in a better mood.

It was the first time G had been to Crimson and he seemed to know a few people but also vaguely stayed within our group. He and I hung out a bit, then also with a girl he knew. Later on in the evening, as the play was really getting going and established he was trying to convince me and the other girl to let him cane us. She wasn't keen, but I figured I was game. But I don't know G overly well, so I wanted H to be around to supervise the play. G and girl scoped out a spot in the other room and I went to get H and my kit bag. H proceeded to put all of my leather kit on me (ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs, collar) and then put a bar gag on me and then loaded me up with my bags and her bags and led me on a rope leash into the other room.

G and girl were situated by one of the posts of the smaller frame so they took the bags off me, then took the rope leash and threaded it up through the attachment points on the post so I was attached by collar and neck standing to the post. My wrists were clipped together and then perhaps clipped to a lower attachment point on the post, as I seem to recall I couldn't move them. Then they started to play with me. H was in front and G behind. There was stroking and pegs, and my corset came off, and scratches and canes and pinching and twisting. It was a pretty good scene to be honest. I was in a very good head space. There was a pleasant mix of tactile pleasure and pain. This had gone one for what... 15-20 minutes? Then, all of the sudden there was some gasping, an 'Oh my God!' and a rather awful smell and they were releasing me.

As they were letting me go, I vaguely came to understand that my hair had caught fire. I hadn't known- I hadn't felt any heat. It must have been incredibly quick. But from what H told me later, it was horrifying as there was a massive flare up of fire and it was very frightening though they put it out almost instantly. I should reiterate, it was out and I had no idea until after it had happened. Of course, there was the awful smell of burnt hair and H sat me down and started combing through my hair and I was just getting covered in charred blackened things coming off my head. G was mortified and H was trying to see how bad the damage was and I was either in shock or I just handle these things okay because I was maybe a bit upset, but what was done was done. I guess my biggest worry was how much hair was missing and how much I'd have to get cut off. H continued to comb it through with her fingers and decided maybe it wasn't as bad as it first seemed, she showed me a small handful of hair that was all that came out (aside from all the charred ash) so I started to feel better about it.

Of course the smell lingered. I didn't feel like going to the bathroom to check the damage. I mean, what could I do about it? And I think it probably wasn't so bad. I'm lucky that my hair is both curly and layered, and often people don't even know if I got a haircut. So I figured if the damage wasn't too bad, it would probably be hidden in my normal hair. The biggest shame was that our play had gotten interrupted. I think while everyone was a bit in shock, that was the biggest disappointment. So after some quite sitting time and reassurances and hugs and the like, we decided to move to the other room. G and I went ahead but somehow we lost H to some friends, and G wanted to smoke. So we went down to the smokers area for him to smoke and me to shiver.

As we were out there, I could see that G was conflicted. He felt really really awful about the hair, although I kept assuring him that it was probably fine and that accidents happen and I wasn't permanently hurt in any way. On the other hand, all his play energy got cut as well and he didn't really want that to end. He was sort of joking about whether or not we could start over, but I would say the mood was a bit ruined. When he then asks what I'm doing after. I said H was coming to mine to crash before heading home. And he says, "Oh, because I would have invited you back to mine." And I was like, "Well, what would we do at yours?". And he answers, "I could beat you some more and we could have sex".


Well, I'd like to say that I handled this situation with aplomb and ease, but it opened the door right up to my biggest area of insecurity and issues so I sort of froze up like a deer in headlights. Then he thought he'd made a mistake. I tried to explain it's not that he made a mistake, but that I honestly couldn't answer that question. I can't say yes, I can't say no. I just freeze. Well, I'm sure this isn't what anyone really wants to hear, so we sort of talked around it and were quiet, and talked around it some more. Weren't really making progress and went back in to work out where H had gone.

Found H with the people she knew and sat by her and our bags. G went to get a drink and in those 2 minutes I explained what had happened to H. Her opinion? I should go sleep with him. So I expressed to her the same thing I did to him- that I am simply incapable of making a decision. But also that I don't really do the one night stand thing, and I didn't want to just go sleep with him if that was all it was so she said I should just ask him if that was what it was. By this time he'd come back and the uncomfortable issue still hung heavy in the air.

So I attempted to ask if it was a one night sort of thing or not and we both end up on some esoteric tangent of conversation. I think the short version was that neither of us is really into one night stands, but he in particular can't see himself being ready for a 'relationship' right now, though I wasn't asking to jump right in to a boyfriend/girlfriend sort of thing. Just knowing if there was something more than a one off. This conversation took a while, H went to say goodbye to other people while we talked. When she got back she asked what was going on, but we still hadn't come to any sort of conclusion.

So as we sat there, G got slightly more amorous and his hand crept up my skirt and under my panties and H turns back to work out what's going on and sees me and is just like, "Right, I'm either giving you a ride to G's, or not at all but look at you, I'm clearly not giving you a ride home. Go. Home. With. Him." So we packed up our stuff and went to the car and I was still in deer in headlight mode and pretty quiet. We got to G's place and he gets out and there's sort of this last minute "Well, what's going on?" and H says, "G, tell K that she needs to go with you and you are going to wash her hair." So he repeats and she turns to me and is like, "Right, you, out of the car." So I went.

Does this sound wrong? The thing is, it wasn't wrong for me because I honestly could not make this decision for myself. Talking to H today about it, she suggests (and I probably agree) that this is why I need and want a dominant man. I can't make these sorts of decisions. It can't be left up to me. Because what happened is exactly what happens. I freeze, become indecisive, and can't take any action at all (which by default creates an action, I understand that, but it's not one I picked). I did want to go with G. I desperately wanted to be that type of girl to throw caution to the wind and just have fun. But I can't do that. Or at least, I can't make the decision to do that. So part of me did hugely yearn to just go with him and the other part become very mired down in internal thoughts of "But what does this all mean?" creating general ennui.


Off I went with G to his house. His flatmates who had been out when we were there for dinner seemed to be home. We went to his room and I was suddenly extremely tired (it was about 5am) so I curled up on the bed while he went around taking care of some things. Then we curled up on the bed together and just sort of cuddled and touched for a bit which was actually just sort of gentle and nice. He asked if I wanted my hair washed and I said only if the smell was really bothering him (it did really smell). So we continued on but about five minutes later he pulled me up to the bathroom and had me bend over the tub while he washed my hair. Then back to bed. Clothes started coming off, and then we were fucking. And it was niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

It went on for a while. There was some breast pinching and breath restriction and hand pinning thrown in, but overall it was fairly mellow. And he had good stamina which I appreciate. Eventually I was so worked up and getting tired so I reached down to get myself off while we continued to fuck which was lovely. And then we curled up to sleep.

I think he slept pretty well. I never sleep that well with new people but he seemed out like a light. I tried not to disturb him too much as I got comfortable and then eventually I slept too. I had no idea of the time when I woke up. I liked that he was fairly huggy in bed, though I do tend to get warm so had various arms and legs out of the covers. And of course, regardless of how much sleep I've had, I'm always wide awake in the morning. But I didn't want to disturb him too much. It had been a rather long and involved night. So I dozed in and out and just waited. Eventually he started moving albeit very slowly and I told him how I was a morning person and that I was being very well behaved and not bothering him and we alternately dozed and cuddled for a while. Eventually though I was antsy so I started poking/tapping him. He said it probably wasn't a good idea, so I kept poking him some more.

So he gets up, gets my bag, gets my leather gear out and puts on my collar and wrist cuffs, then uses the ankle cuffs to attach to the headboard and then the wrists to the ankle cuffs so I was face down on the middle of the bed. He put the leather end of a leash he had between my teeth and told me to hold it there, and I thought he was going to spank or cane me, and I think he did give me a swat or two, but next thing I know he's rolling on a condom and we get to have sex again. Yay!! And just like the night before, very good stamina. And this position is one of my favorites because of how you can feel it, laying flat like that with him on top behind. It went on and on until I felt quite spacey and eventually he finished (although, I'm terrible at this, I don't know in either case if he 'finished' or just finished) and then he pulled out a latex glove and played with me until I came and then came again and was squirming to try and get away from him because I was so sensitive. Having worn me out, he unsnapped the connection of my left wrist and put it over to attach to the right so I was back on one side of the bed and then made a pleased with himself comment that I didn't seem so impatient to get up anymore.

We chilled for a bit, and then he went to go make tea and toast while I was still connected to the bed. He came back and undid one wrist so I could eat and drink and then we slowly got moving. He set up the shower for me so I could have a proper shower, and he had a shower and I packed up my stuff and some time around 2 or 3 we walked from his place to Brixton station and I rode home.

So yeah, that was my pretty crazy night. Burnt hair and yummy sex.

I'm not really sure what's going on with G or when I'll see him again, though I assume that I will see him again and we'll perhaps play again, and sleep together again. Even if it's not a 'Relationship', it's certainly a welcome distraction.

Now I need to go and have a proper night sleep!!