I have a short break in my work mania. I've handed off the draft report to three reviewers for feedback. I should be getting it back in the next couple of days, and then I will be working like a crazy person again to make all the final changes and get it ready for the big event on November 15th.
But right now, I have a break. I haven't done much. I had ideas that I would do things but mostly I sat around my flat in a stupor. I talked to my mom for a few hours. I watched television. I read at least two books on my Kindle. I did a single load of laundry. But really, I did not much of anything. Today I should have gone in to my office space, and I got up and got dressed as if I was going on. But then I puttered around and somehow it's past noon and I'm clearly not going in. But I don't really have anything to do there. So why should I? Instead I'm meeting T for lunch which should be good, and I need to go to that in about fifteen minutes.
But in the meantime, I'm here. Thinking about perspective and how people really should try to have it more often. I guess I should try to have it sometimes. I was talking to my mom about life things and we were saying that really, when it comes to work and my professional life, I've been very lucky. Not lucky in the sense that I've made a lot of money (because I haven't) but lucky in that I found a career path that I'm good at and that I enjoy and that makes me happy. That even when things were up in the air or unsure, I always seem to come out on top when it comes to work. I know a lot of people who don't enjoy what they do, or haven't had luck at work. And I can't say that's been me. I've been very lucky in that regard.
And I've been very lucky in my living spaces. I live in a city I love. I've lived in many cities and had lots of great living experiences. Again, others have not been so lucky in this area. I can't complain.
The one area I've not been lucky is relationships. Although I've grown significantly and I think I'm a much happier person in this area, I still don't have that someone special. My mother told me that my relatives (on her side) think I'm a lesbian. That was nice. If I was a lesbian, I'd probably have a frigging relationship. Also, I would not feel any need to hide this from my family. But no, no luck with relationships.
But my perspective should be a little bit better than it is sometimes. Because in two major areas of life, I've got a pretty good thing going. And even my relationship in terms of the one I've developed with myself, is much better as well. So in the big big picture, things really aren't all that awful.
This is particularly on my mind at the moment because I have a friend who has pretty much lost the plot and could use some perspective. I think she's mad at me because I said in a tiny little paragraph something to this effect although I did my best to phrase it in the nicest way possible. Life isn't fair you know. So you need to count your blessings where you have them, and not take things that you have for granted because I guarantee out of all the friends I have, if you think "Oh poor me" then I promise you your shit could be a whole lot worse. I'm not saying anything quite so insensitive as 'get over it' but some perspective would not be amiss.