Let Me Tell You A Story...

It was called to my attention that sometimes my stories are appreciated. I haven't shared one for a while, here's one from the memory archives.

I had my first boyfriend when I was 19. It was a long-distance affair which was not the most conducive to dating. We talked every day however, and our talk was often naughty.

It made sense that as things progressed and we managed to save money to see each other (which involved either 24 hours of driving or a plane trip) that we progressed to having sex. My first.

So when the moment happened, I was not actually at my University as I should have been, but rather far away in another state, having a blast with my boyfriend. I remember calling my mother from his house (days before caller ID and mobile phones) and coming up with fake excuses for why I couldn't do things she wanted me to do because I wasn't actually at home.

A month later I was on the phone with her, and I just decided I didn't really like the lying so I said, "remember when you wanted me to do x, y, and z? Well, the reason I couldn't is because I was in Florida, not here."

A moment of silence.

And then...

"Oh. Did you have sex?"

Rapid fire thoughts of how to answer this question.

"Um... yes."

A moment of silence.

And then...

"Well, that's fine I didn't expect you to be a virgin when you got married, I wasn't a virgin when I got married and I was younger than you when I lost my virginity and I didn't think you would still be a virgin when you got married and I wasn't a virgin when I got married...."

"Um... mom? It's not a competition. You asked, I answered."

So that was strange.

A couple months later, I was at my dad's house for the summer. And I flew down to see my boyfriend. My dad didn't know I'd really seen him much before (or that he'd come up and stayed at my house while my dad was away with his girlfriend). This was the days when people could still meet you at the gate. I got off the plane, still sad to leave my boy and spy my dad and walk towards him.

He said to me as I approached, "Did you have sex?"

Not 'hello' or 'how was the flight' or 'welcome home'.

So I said, "Um... yes."

And then...

"Well, I don't want you to judge all men based on this experience. Men at this age can be real 'minute men' you know and I don't want you thinking that all men are like this and don't judge all men on your one experience because boys this age don't really know what they're doing and they can be real 'minute men'..."

My parents had been divorced for over ten years. And they asked me the exact same question. Which it turns out, other moms and dads didn't ask their kids (aka my friends) upon learning they'd gone to see their boyfriends.

My family is strange.