Settling In

"And this song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme"

It occurs to me that I've spent huge portions of my life alone. And I don't really mind being alone. The thought that everyone else is off to see family or spend time with other stranded friends is like a curiosity to me. I don't have a memory of holiday meals and santa clause, of trees and stockings, of strings of lights and carols. Traditionally, particularly in New York, Christmas is a time for Jews to get some Chinese take-out and go see a movie. I'm not sure any of the take-away places will be open here, so I've stocked up my fridge just in case. And I am really not sure (and and in fact think not) that the movie theaters will be open Christmas day, or Boxing day for that matter.

There isn't anything good on television so I've turned it off (if you knew me, this would astound you, but you'll have to take my word for it). I have a CD in the stereo. I'm considering doing some cooking and baking. And I'll get through this. I'll actually look forward to S&M's (I love that) arrival on Tuesday as something to do, something different. For now I'm settling into my 'me' space.

In fact next week will be very busy. S&M arrive, and I will need to coordinate with them accordingly. My neighbor is going to paint my hallway, so that's going to be a few days of mess and excitement, but then the last bit of painting will FINALLY be done in my house, which will be fantastic, I'm going to see Mr.Aloof- after the travesty of this week- we've been talking on the phone, and hopefully things are somewhat sorted there, and hopefully I'll also see SP and SA who both return before New Years.

So this down time, this quiet time, this mulling and sulking time, it's okay really. Just get it out of my system. In the peace of my own home. It's good to have periods of reflection. Or periods of nothing. It makes you appreciate the alternative that much more.