Well, I've done fuck all the past few days. Pottering around at work, surfing the web. I feel so bad about this behavior that I have a memory stick with me that I'm going to download work onto and take it home, so that I can accomplish some things over the next couple days perhaps, to make up for all that I have not accomplished the last couple days.
"trying to learn to be less alive..."
Flatmate D left this morning for a two-week stint in the states. And my friends S&M (oh, that's kind of funny, let me relish the moment) don't arrive until Tuesday. This means that from today until then, I am on my own, and retreating from the world.
"using all of my will..."
This holiday apathy has not been helped in the least by the situation with Mr.Aloof who cancelled on me a second night running. I just don't know what to make of that. And really, my way of dealing with it is to slip into not thinking about it at all. Which is fine, because when I leave work today, and enter my empty house, I really don't have to think about anything at all, and I don't plan on it.
"to keep very still..."
Like a sort of Buddhist meditation or something. I will clear my mind of thought. And then, when I am bored with that, and hopefully before my friends arrive, I will pull myself out of it and all will be right with the world. Anyway. I'm off to go sulk now.
"still even on the inside."
1 comment:
SLAP!!!!!!!!
well someones gotta!
I will b calling you tonight so i hope your in!
;0p
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