It seems to me that even though November is not yet done, it might as well be. My entire year is becoming a list of things that rush me towards the end. My time is scheduled in days and weeks and going here and there. Before I know it, it will all be done and it will be 2006 and I will be wondering where the past couple months went.
And I'm already starting to schedule into next year as well. February trip in the works and April travel planned and expected. I hate when my life becomes predictable, but then, I hate when my life is not predictable. I think I just need to feel that there is at least the possibility that something outside expectation will happen. And not in a bad way. Bad things are always unexpected and not predictable. I want some good things that are unexpected and not predictable. I want to be surprised pleasantly or at least have some belief that I could be surprised pleasantly. Otherwise life is just dull and routine. Even when you schedule fun things.
18 November 2005
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