And so was announced the return of Mr.Aloof from his trip via text. I'm not entirely sure when the message was sent as I had a difficult evening at the home of S and C which I will get to in a moment, as that is actually the point of this post, and not the text exchange. Still, I was stupidly pleased to know he's back, and struck amused once again by the words exchanged that I do like so very much and that others would be shocked to hear.
But on a more serious note, and the few texts aside, my evening was not a fun one.
At work yesterday I checked in with S who had called me at 1am Saturday morning having a crisis. We spoke on the phone for two hours, but the problems would not be solved in an evening. It was really an addition to a long laundry list of problems and slights that all focused around S's relationship with her boyfriend C.
They have been together five years, and recently purchased a lovely flat together and started living together for the first time. Of course, it's normal to think that issues will arise when circumstance changes. And to be fair, while they had been together four years, they had never spent significant portions of time together, mostly limiting their relationship to weekends and the odd evening. So moving in was always going to be a very large adjustment.
And friend's from the sidelines also held their breath and worried that it would be an unsuccessful adjustment, as cracks were clearly visible before the flat purchase and move-in, but what can one say?
So six months on, and the proverbial shit has hit the fan. After Saturday's phone call, I checked in yesterday only to find that what was emotional abuse had escalated to physical abuse. She wants him to go to counseling with her or on his own, he thinks it's all her problem and insists he's not going to any counselor. So yesterday she called a domestic violence helpline and they suggested she try talking to him with someone there. Enter K.
I went over after work and talked to her a bunch. We ordered a takeaway and he came home eventually. Turns out he'd been listening to our conversation in the stairwell before coming in. And he ignored us. And she tried to talk to him, and because I was there he stayed relatively calm. But they did not really talk. And it was mostly due to C and his unwillingness to admit that he was doing anything wrong or allow any opinion other than his own. He couldn't even say if he wanted them to be together or not. Their relationship is basically over. She got a lock put on the bedroom door (they have a guest bedroom) and told him that she didn't feel safe around him and needed a private space. And you could tell that the rage was building as his control was lost. I had to stay long enough for her to get what she needed, lock herself in the bedroom, and I let myself out. It was really sad.
I'll be there to lend her support and help in any way I can obviously. It's always distressing to see your friends hurting. To see people treat each other so poorly. To be so out of control. So base. It was really a stressful evening for me, I can't even imagine.
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