No More Batshit Crazy

Unless you count the three hours that I spent on the phone with SH last night without using a phone card. That's going to hurt. And a happy chanukah to her, and she doesn't even realize it. But anyway, yesterday I realized that the hormonal rampage I had been on was at an end. Things that had seemed so unbelievably true and important and all encompassing last week now seem perhaps a little bit silly.

I was off my rocker about Mr.Aloof. If he has shown me one true thing about himself in the eleven months I've known him, it is that he is consistently inconsistent. He disappears. It's just what he does. SH pointed this out and she also pointed out that it is never ever a good thing to 'need' to see someone- in my case in particular if it has to do with being insecure. Her point was that you cannot rely on someone else for your sense of self and well-being and importance, that these are things that have to come from within you. Even though we had new things going on, it doesn't change the basic premise, and being less hormonal, I came to see that this was completely true. I think what I realize with him is just that I need to get my things back from his house. That when I see him, for the time being, that's cool, and when it's over, and it will likely be over, probably sometime during this long year, it will just be over and I will hopefully be ready to move on to something perhaps slightly more involved than just so casual and unreliable.

I also did a little bit of retail therapy yesterday at the London Fetish Fair. I wasn't really in the mood for going as yesterdays post should attest. But I then scheduled to meet up with a friend N who I met 'on the scene' and whom I haven't seen in ages. I texted her that I didn't really want to go in, but that I would come down and meet her for coffee or something. But by the time I met her at the venue she convinced me to just come on in and so I sucked it up and paid the five pound cover and was glad I did. The new venue is pretty nice and there are a few more stalls than at the old venue. Walked around looking at all sorts of very nice things and then got it into my head to try on a corset from the same guy I bought my last corset from. This one being in all black brocade with sort of silver pattern on it so it's slightly light reflective. It's also more substantial than my previous one, having metal stays instead of plastic. At any rate, the man selling corsets cinched me into this thing and I felt positively bullet proof. And I loved it. So, of course I had to buy it. Perhaps Mr.Aloof will get to enjoy it, or perhaps the next person to come along, or who knows we'll just see. Now I just need to learn how to lace it up myself- this one laces in the back, and it needs to go tight tight tight. Perhaps I'll give it a go and post about my experiments.

The next thing I find I'm becoming obsessed with is cooking beef negimaki. I don't know why. It came upon me last week that I really wanted to try and make some, so I started looking at internet recipes. I found one that seemed alright. It will be a slightly involved recipe that involves tieing up your food with string before you cook it. Still, it's so damn yummy, and I'm so completely obsessed, I think I'm just going to have to make it.