Irritable

So I'm back on the clock. And it's forty minutes until lunch. My time is no longer my own. At least tlsd is back. Good thing too since half the office still isn't. Though in some cases, that's a welcome absence.

Work is alright. I had only good intentions yesterday and this morning about how I would be good about work, but we can all see how that's going.

I'm slightly preoccupied with my annoyance with Mr.Aloof and I am feeling highly destructive. It's what happens when annoyance reaches its peak. I have a spectacular ability to destroy things- particularly relationships and such. I'm reigning it all in by just a thread. A thread that keeps threatening to break. I've already been harsher with him than I've ever been before. It's just that my compulsion is to keep beating that horse until its bloody and unconscious. Not to give him time to respond at his own pace. I'm sick of his pace. I want answers and placating and I want it now. Or I will destroy everything we have.

The thing is, he deserves this. Even if some of my intensity is hormone fueled (which is not verified at the moment) it doesn't let him off the hook. I don't want this all to implode. I don't want to lose him. But I don't want to feel like this either. Fuck.