Flirting

Over the weekend I did some re-vamping of my Informed Consent profile. I recognize that this is a particularly bad sign in regards to the future of my relationship with Mr.Aloof. I've not made my ad active again yet, but I can tell I'm going over hurdles that bring me to that inevitable point. I noticed that I've been posting on threads there more frequently. Reading a bit more than usual. Toying with the possibility, and to be honest, likelihood, that I may soon be actively seeking again.

Of course, actively seeking is a huge pain. Meeting new people is something I generally despise. I won't have any shortage of people sending me memos if past experience is any indication, it's just sifting through the masses of bullshit to find anyone worth getting to know better than cursory. It's not something to look forward to.

And then there are other considerations. Mr.Noshow and Mr.Ball. Still people I converse with, still people I 'know'. Mr.Noshow became obsessed it seems, with having me again, the second I made it clear that I was done with him. Well, not quite that very second, but after he'd had some time to stew over it. If I officially dumped him a year ago, for the past ten months he's been trying to play with me again. Now, I could play with him again, just for the sake of doing it, but he doesn't really offer me anything other than straight play. And his version of play is very regimented it seems. Or proscriptive would perhaps be a better word. Not my preference of style. But available, if I want it.

And then there is Mr.Ball (who reads this blog, hello) who I have met all of twice in the past year. Well, almost a year, in just a few weeks time. I've told him we're on the six month plan, and it's coming up on time to meet again to stick to that schedule. I don't really know what to make of Mr.Ball. We are more friends than anything else, though conversation can be flirty. And then there is the hypothetical number count that has accumulated in the past year of mostly IM conversations. A tally of slights if you will with the unspoken general understanding of how that tally would be reconciled. Is it all just hyperbole or is there more to it than that? I don't know. I never know.

I hate dating.