Run Forest, Run

This is what someone said last night out in Regents Park. Not on our team, and not the team we were playing against. Just something I heard, carrying across the expanse.

Softball was a bit surreal yesterday. We played on the newly done up field just past the fountain from Gloucester Gate. It was deceptively large. I looked at this wide open field with lots of groups dotted across it playing. The sky was brilliantly blue, the sun was dropping and the grass was a bright green surrounded by the darker green of the trees and shrubs. It wasn't too hot, the ground was relatively flat. When you started to walk onto the field, you realized how large it actually was. There was plenty of room for many games to be held simultaneously without getting into anyone's way. It was strangely quiet for how many people were there, but it was the distance. Though occasionally, a shout would carry across the wind. It was fun, although we lost.

After softball at the pub, I was talking to H about buying or not buying a property in London or in the Netherlands. He isn't sure how long he is going to stay so is unsure where to buy. I said, at least in London you can always rent your place out if you were to leave, easily. Then I added, that if I were to leave, that's probably what I would do.

This was said in idle conversation and had no intention of being any more significant. But then I thought about it later. I started to feel, in my current frame of unreferenced mind, that maybe I should move on. That there is little holding me here to London. Nothing really, no more than any other place I've been. That maybe I've been in my job long enough. That maybe it was time to uproot and start over.

It's only been two years- and my more typical current movement pattern has been 3 years. But I started to wonder, why am I here? Maybe I was actually thinking about this earlier in the week as I trudged through Dalston. Looking at the cars, the trash cans, the city fabric. Why here? Why not someplace else? Is this what I really want? My mind has picked up this little ball and is currently juggling it along with everything else.

I'm not actually serious about moving. It's just been a recent thought.

That and I'm not amused by the mysterious bugs that are biting me in the night. I was awoken at 5 this morning by three huge madly itching welts on the back of my hand. Those are gone but instead of I have a bunch of others that are burning terribly. I need to go at lunch and invest in bug repellent to go to sleep it would seem. How un-fucking-amusing. But these bugs, they need to be stopped!