Bitchy Birthday Mama

Today is my mother's birthday. I was actually due on her birthday, but instead had to be cut out eight days after. We are exactly 30 years apart in age, except for a mere eight days a year.

August birthdays are less than exciting. Everyone is always on vacation. When I was a child, I would spend the summer with my father in Virginia. So not only was everyone on vacation, but all of my friends lived in New York. I never had big parties or celebrations. Birthdays have never been very important to me.

In the past bunch of years, my mother has gotten obsessive about any event or holiday where she thinks she is 'due' something. I think this is the root of the problem exactly, 'due'. No one is 'due' anything on their birthday. If those who like and love you choose to wish you good tidings or give you gifts you should be grateful, not expectant.

My mother on the other hand will have a screaming crying shouting fit if I haven't wished her 'Happy Birthday' by noon. This is the same for Mother's Day as well. I have patiently tried to explain to her that I actually have the entire day to wish her a happy birthday and give her a gift, but by then she's usually so irrational and screaming at me that I end up getting exasperated and shouting back that clearly what she wants is to be miserable on her birthday since she goes out of her way to be so, ergo, I gave her exactly the present she most wants, an excuse to feel sorry for herself.

Needless to say, that doesn't go over very well.

This year I have already ordered a nice flower arrangement to be delivered. I had intended on calling and waking her sorry ass up before I left for work, that way I would have made sure I got her early! Of course, I had -intended- to do this, but only remembered once I got to my office. So now I have a conundrum. I could give her a call on my mobile in a bit, but this will reinforce her belief that I should call first thing in her morning, even though it's hugely inconvenient for me. Or I could wait until I get home, knowing the flowers should be delivered by then and it should mitigate any tantrum she's building up to have.

I wish I'd remembered to call her at 3am her time.. that would have been so much better.