I set the wheel in motion last Friday. Really, I probably set in motion the week before with a postcard I sent him. But I knew, as I sometimes do, what the outcome would be. I knew in that abstract way of protecting yourself and not being able to feel it, so that when it actually happens you almost stumble with the surprise of the hurt. Did I not say that this was coming, what I was doing, what the outcome would be? I knew, and yet, I did not want to know until it happened.
But now it has happened.
And I am hurting.
It's not a bitter angry thing full of vile words and venom. It was just an honest and open acknowledgement on both sides that neither of us could be what the other person wanted. An amicable parting.
It will pass, but it's unpleasant. The overwhelming sadness for the story that never was. For the fantasy that was not reality. For the person I loved, who did not exist.
8 comments:
Well he sounded rubbish if you ask me, and clearly didn't deserve you.
Also I thought his taste in clothes was deeply suspect.
Aw.. thanks Louche.. and... you're absolutely right, his clothing choices WERE quite suspect... hm.....
Louche, you are so wise... I bow to your superior insightfulness.
K, you deserve better you always did. You know that. He could never have given you what you want and need. He truly was not worthy. Don't be sad for what he never gave you, he never had it in him to give you those things.
Hugs xx
tlsd - that's the new mantra of course, even if he'd been x, he could never give me yzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvw...... there is no world where we would have ended up together... mantra.....
Real sorry to hear that, Kay. Keep your head up.
---X
X- Thanks kiddo. You too.
when you say 'even if he'd been x'... do you mean the adorable X?
*smirk*
no, that would be 'X' not 'x' and of couse with an 'X', that's really all you need....
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