BOHS

I don't have much new to talk about. So I thought I'd share a story from the past. Not that long ago actually. Just this past New Years, or actually just before. I wrote this for somewhere else, but thought it would be better if I collected it to be here anyway. Remember, this post is not only fun, but educational!

........

It began a couple weeks before Xmas. I was settling into my bed to sleep. And was partaking in my standard evening activity of getting myself off before slumber. Nothing unusual so far. All was according to the typical five minute cycle. Gentle pleasure, then a building of pleasure and intensity. Then, there is that moment, not orgasm itself- but that moment just prior to orgasm when you are pretty much assured that it's going to happen in the next twenty seconds or so. It was at this very precise moment when it all of the sudden felt like someone took a baseball bat and slammed me in the back of the skull. Pain exploded to the back of my head, moving to the temples. The room lurched and I thought I was going to vomit. Needless to say, I stopped what I was doing immediately and tried instead to concentrate on breathing.

I don't remember much of the first incident. Clearly I didn't remember enough the second evening when I went about my usual sleep routine. I suppose one tries to forget things like that, maybe I thought it was just a fluke. But the exact same thing happened again. And intense worry set in. What the hell was happening to me?

The following week involved methodical scientific exploration of the pain. What seemed to make it worse (it really couldn't get much worse). What seemed to make it better (nothing). Did change in position help (no). And could I really not have an orgasm (well, yes, but with significant pain- masochism comes in handy!). I also learned how to back off at the first sign of pain so as to only have a five minute episode of blinding pain with a day long headache as opposed to a half an hour or hours worth of pain with a day long headache, but of course, without achieving the desired goal.

Two weeks on by Xmas weekend, I was pretty sure I should go to my GP. A couple days of non-indulgence had done nothing to stop the pain. And I was starting to feel that this was unreasonable. Of course, when I go to the GP during holiday time, they say it's for emergencies only. Was it an emergency? Almost two weeks of constant pain- but it didn't seem like I was dying. I came back the next day (British friends have since explained that you should always claim it's an emergency)and that morning I saw the GP. Explained the situation. She relieved me slightly by saying that this 'blow to the back of the head' symptom is a common standard symptom. Then she concerned me greatly by wandering off to consult with three different specialists.

"Normally," she says, rather pleased with my forward description of the problem, "we have to drag it out of people- where were you when you felt this pain? What were you doing when you felt this pain? How helpful that you just came in and said it." I was glad to be helpful. But my concern wasn't particularly lessened.

She took my mobile number, sent a fax to the neurologist at the hospital and said that they would give me a call if they thought I needed further tests. Brain scans and the like. So off I went home with a mild headache and thoughts that I had a brain tumor and would probably die within the week.

Around 4pm that day, I got a call. "Could you go to the hospital right now?". My flatmate at the time, Z, offered to come with me, which I thought was really nice- though I hadn't fully explained the nature of the pain in my head aside from 'bad headache and neck pain'. I was happy to have the company, I was after all, slightly freaked out.

The hospital was ready for me. Entering A&E I met with a very nice registrar. She had spoken to my GP. She knew what the issue was. "We need to rule out that you're bleeding into your brain. This will involve a CT scan, and a lumbar puncture". Bleeding into my brain? Can orgasms do that to you? Fucking hell. Well what can one do? Bleeding into the brain is no good really, so test away. Apparently all of my reflexes and responses were fine. So was the pulsating nerve/vein in the back of my eye (it's sort of cool how they can see into your head through your eyes). The registrar seemed a bit cautious. It was somewhat clear she had no clue what the hell was wrong with me.

After my physical exam, the consultant magically appeared. He saved the day by having heard of this symptom that I could have- but they still needed to rule out imminent death first. So off I went to get scanned.

I've not spent any significant time in a hospital. Ever. No history of broken bones, no surgery of any kind. The experience was a bit surreal. This was aided by the strange and somewhat creepy nurse that was leading us around to find the CT scan room (he couldn't find it). The CT scan was alright. I got to look at the scan. The consultant there said no brain bleeding was visible on the scan. This was good news. It's really fun to look at layers of your head. Would have made a great wallpaper for my computer. But I digress.

Back to A&E and time for a spinal tap. I'm pretty sure the guy doing it was an SHO (I can't get all the levels of doctors right here, even though I have friends who are doctors) and was being supervised by the registrar I saw earlier. I've only heard bad things about spinal taps. Horribly painful and miserable being the general tone. Aside from it being awkward to lay on your side and grab your knees, I'm happy to report that aside from mild discomfort, it wasn't painful at all. Of course, this could also be because even though they tried three times to stick a four inch long needle between my vertebrae and into my spine, there was no fluid coming out. I suppose if they were very worried, they would have tried again- but they gave up. Z took some pictures with my phone of the blood drips down my back and the orange swabby circle- that was fun photography.

Of course during the course of the hospital visit I managed to explain exactly what was going on with me. In fact, since it all happened, I told pretty much most of my friends and some random people as well. Apparently with some things I have no sense of personal privacy. *smirk*

So what is the end result of this tale you may wonder, as I'm obviously not dead? The diagnosis was 'Benign Orgasm Headache syndrome'. Apparently more likely in men than in women. And no real information on why you get it and when it may go away. Pills can help- starting with ibuprofen and moving up to migraine medication two hours before orgasm.

Two hours before orgasm? The one thing I'll say about this having happened is that it results in the most interesting conversations of 'how often' people orgasm per week. Now, I never gave this much thought being very happy with my usual once a day (before I go to sleep) and sometimes twice a day (before I get up in the morning) sort of routine. The recommendation was to lay off the sauce for a good two weeks and try again. Which was fucking hard to do. In fact, I didn't make two weeks. I think I made six days and was rewarded with blinding head pain.

Thankfully, eventually, it did go away, just as suddenly as it appeared. Though I was left with a bit of nerves for a couple months, wondering if it would come back.

For the educational bit, further reading on the subject can be found by plunking in 'benign orgasm headache' into google or if you're lazy, this is one of the better articles I've found so far. It sort of creeps me out that this could always return one day for no reason and with no warning.

Now, don't you feel informed?

play .wmv

play .mpg

visit beautifulagony.com