Except I need to get on top of it. Every night I have sat down to study and every night the same thing has occurred. I've changed times, location, material and nothing is working. But there is no option to go onto something else because there isn't fucking anything else. I must take these exams and I have scheduled and paid for them and there is no backing out of it, and really, I don't want to back out of it either. I want to finish my exams and finally, after oh so many years, be a real honest to god architect and be able to close that particular chapter in life. Even though of course, I'll never probably use that qualification for anything except getting more pay and potentially more respect. Son of a bitch.
I'm sure it doesn't help matters that ever since Tuesday I have woken up every morning thinking it should be Friday and then have been crushed do determine that it wasn't. Son of a bitch.
It also doesn't help matters that even though I met with Mr.Aloof last week and he said he would make plans for this week that he hasn't. And that I have put one of my profiles on the site I frequent less on active 'just to see what comes of it'. And I am toying with putting my main profile back on active. Except I'm not sure I'm ready to entertain new people at the moment, but I can't stay where I am either. Son of a bitch.
Well, that's the theme of this post then isn't it. Not liking where you are, and knowing you have no choice but to move on, even if that doesn't seem any more pleasant or easy. Son of a bitch.
Maybe I should start a progressive plan of gym attendance to bust out some of this inert aggression I'm feeling. On the one hand,that's probably a good idea, but on the other, it's just me procrastinating and avoiding what I should be focused on by focusing on something else. Son of a bitch.
(Look it's even fucking with my humor. I've gone crazy. You get it right? SON OF A BITCH!!! *blargh*)
5 comments:
k... I'm soooooooo glad I did those fucking exams 8yrs ago!!! Seriously being a real honest to god architect is sooooooo overrated!
You want respect?! In this buisness your gonna have to grow balls and a beard. Son of a bitch.
tlsd- Yeah but your exams are different anyway. Although I do know what you're saying, there is a difference between saying 'my background is in architecture' vs 'and I'm an architect.'
son of a bitch.
-K
You know this whole architect thing could solve your love life problems too, Bucky Fuller and Philip Johnson had no problem getting anyone they wanted. Of coure, just look at them. Son of a bitch.
kybruno1- bucky was an engineer, no? and PJ, well, I'm pretty sure he was as gay as they come. Not to mention that he was like a gajillionaire. Son of a bitch.
K's... yeah but you have to have really low standards to wanna fuck a male architect *shudder* that's the first thing you learn at college... Son of a bitch.
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