22 February 2006

Every Pop Song on the Radio

What is it about song lyrics? What is it about the mixture of music and words that can so succinctly tap into an emotion, a feeling, a moment? It isn't usually the whole song. Usually it's a word, a phrase, a chorus, a stanza.

Sleepwalking through the all-night drugstore

Baptized in fluorescent light
I found religion in the greeting card aisle
Now I know hallmark was right
And every pop song on the radio
Is suddenly speaking to me
Yeah, art may imitate life
But life imitates t.v.
'Cuz you've been gone exactly two weeks
Two weeks and three days
And let's just say that things look different now
Different in so many ways

Perhaps it's just the idea of connection. Mostly when people are down, they simultaneously feel alone. That moment of connection with the voice coming through the speakers or the headphones lets you feel for a moment that you are not alone. That someone understands. Better, some stranger understands. Not just friends who will tell you things to make you feel better (not that my friends can accuse me of that in particular normally).

I used to be a superhero

No one could touch me
Not even myself
You are like a phone booth
I somehow stumbled into
And now look at me
I am just like everybody else

I find myself searching for certain songs, certain sentiments. It's like what I feel, but stronger. Expressed better. Hell, everything is more attractive and powerful when set to music! Why else would people go to operas?

If I was dressed in my best defenses

Would you agree to meet me for coffee
If I did my tricks with smoke and mirrors
Would you still know which one was me
If I was naked and screaming
On your front lawn
Would you turn on the light and come down
Screaming, there's the asshole
Who did this to me
Stripped me of my power
Stripped me down

Usually I find I revert to what an acquaintance of mine once called 'crampon rock'. Angry women music. Ani DiFranco, Dar Williams, Martha Wainwright, Indigo Girls, Lisa Loeb, and Liz Phair- just to name a few. I tend to find it suits my moods particularly well. Perhaps with some REM, toad the wet sprocket, Depeche Mode, and Travis thrown in on top. Shit. Probably showing my age there.

I used to be a superhero

No one could touch me

Not even myself

You are like a phone booth

I somehow stumbled into
And now look at me

I am just like everybody else

Well what else is there to do but listen to music to pass the time? To drown out the errant thoughts in my head? I suppose it's a good thing that I've gotten very busy at work. And that I'm getting into my studying. And I've even been to the gym twice this week- so that's good. Sometimes it seems to me that life is about doing all of these things that you call life, when you really want to be doing something else. Most of the time something you can't have. That's depressing.

Yeah you've been gone exactly two weeks

Two weeks and three days

And now I'm a different person

Different in so many ways
Tell me what did you like about me

Don't say my strength and daring

'Cuz now I think I'm at your mercy

And it's my first time for this kind of thing


Oh well. I'm old enough to know I'll get over it. I think I'd just like to reach a point where I don't have to keep going through the same things again and again. On the other hand, if I ever reach a point where music stops speaking to me, I might as well just be dead inside. I guess I'd just prefer it if it was the cheesy happy sappy music that I felt a kinship with for a change.

I used to be a superhero

I would swoop down and save me from myself

You are like a phone booth

That I somehow stumbled into

And now look at me

I am just like everybody else

I am worse than everybody else

1 comment:

moi said...

Not just friends who will tell you things to make you feel better (not that my friends can accuse me of that in particular normally).... nobody would EVER accuse you of this...

Shutting your emotions down to prevent you from getting hurt does not make you superhuman. It's the extremes of life that make it worth living...

... if you didn't FEEL anything you might as well just be dead inside.

love you K x