Linktastic Weekend

I hate when you get to Sunday afternoon and what you really wish is that you had another two days of your weekend to go. Even one day would be better. I'm just not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. Or next week in general. It's going to be very busy and I also have a doctor's appointment where I should find out more about the state of my last remaining ovary and what needs to be done about it.

This weekend has been alright. I met up with M yesterday and we went to this pretty cool exhibit called 'Psycho Buildings' at the Hayward Gallery. I'd say most of the exhibits were really interesting and some maybe not so much, but that was to be expected. Then we walked along the southbank and found some food at Gabriel's Wharf which I always think is such an oddity in such a prominent location, but a nice and unexpected oddity really. Then we continued to wander around, by the Tate Modern and across the Millennium Bridge where we picked up a bus to head back towards my house. By then we were pretty sick of the crowds and it was nice to head back to the bustling but local area that I call home. I had thought there was an open house street fair type thing on but it happens to be next weekend, so we ended up at this funny little vegan cafe which is very close to where I live drinking soy milkshakes and shooting the shit for a few hours. I had two parties I could have gone to last night but I didn't go to either one, I just wasn't feeling the most social.

Today I went to see S at his house which I haven't been to since the infamous trailer trash party. He's done a lot of work on it in the hopes that he can sell it soon and it was interesting to see the changes he made. Then we went to Spitalfields and had a fantastic and amazing lunch at St. John's which surpassed all expectations and I would happily return to. Then I took a bus most of the way home and walked the rest of the way, popping in and out of shops and generally soaking up the atmosphere of my 'hood which was pleasant. Soon I'll pop around the neighbor's as her youngest son was confirmed today and she's throwing a party. I passed off some soda and booze to her earlier this morning as I left the house- I mean, I'm not drinking any of it, so it'll be good to get some of my space back!

But then the weekend is done and it will be back to work tomorrow. Just a miserable thought. I had a dream last night about being inadequate at work and criticized for doing a bad job. I'm sure this is all about my 'no chance for advancement' news but it's funny because I didn't think it was bothering me that much but that's twice now I've dreamed about it, so obviously it is.

I'm still spending a huge amount of time thinking about relationships, thinking about bdsm, thinking about what things are possible, and worrying that some things simply aren't. I'm glad that I'm doing the therapy, but I'm not convinced that my therapist thinks bdsm is a particularly healthy activity. We haven't really discussed it because I think that relationship issues and self-issues actually have little to do with my bdsm beliefs, but if I think about it in more depth, I actually worry that they are linked, and worse, that they might be linked in an unhealthy way. Right now, I just want to focus on the person to person relationship issues that I think have nothing to do with bdsm, but I realize that when I think about how I relate to a potential partner, and in particular how I want to relate to a potential partner, that these things are most definitely linked. So I think more on this topic later, it probably deserves its own post.

Actually there are a number of things milling about in my head that probably deserve their own post. They'll probably come out eventually.