Not Quite Working

I don't usually write from work for any number of reasons. The main one being that our Internet use is monitored and you never know when it's going to get looked at. So I tend to just avoid it.

But I'm having such trouble focusing today.

I'm trying to finish a report that I should have finished Friday. It's just past lunch now and I haven't finished it yet. I figure maybe an hour or so. But I'm dragging. I feel like I can't complete anything. I think I've always had this problem. I start things with good intentions and then I just get bored. Of course this is work- it's not about being into it or being bored. But still, I feel like it's just taking forever.

So a break perhaps.

Not that there's much to talk about. Got my hair cut yesterday which I'm happy about. No more grey. And no more mushroom head. These are good things. The weekend overall was okay. Out to some markets and stuff. Though the weather wasn't the most friendly. It kept raining every time I needed to go outside. Actually this has continued today. I am not amused.

So being back in London isn't exciting me. Being at work isn't exciting me. Social life isn't exciting me. My house isn't exciting me. Pretty much there is nothing going on right now that I'm particularly interested in or excited about. Everything just feels very 'blah'. While it's all possibly related to things with Mr.Aloof, I'm not even sure that's entirely at fault (and speaking of which- no word so far, maybe never again, we'll see).

I was thinking this morning about getting some counseling. Though with the things I'd want to talk about- mostly personal interactions with people and relationships and stuff, I'd need to find a bdsm friendly counselor and they don't tend to advertise in this way. Still, I found a couple who might be useful, so maybe I'll send them emails. It's just an expense I'm not entirely sure I want to put out at the moment. And I'm also not entirely sure what questions I would want to pursue. Though I can think of a couple. We'll see.

I've also been having a lot of headaches lately. I wonder if this is from being back at work. I think it's strange because I almost never get headaches. And I've been getting one at work every day for the past week. It's a bit disturbing but I'm sure everything is all related.

I mean that's how it works isn't it? It's all related. It's not rocket science, not really.

Maybe it'll pass in a bit. Or maybe I have to go find someone to talk to. Maybe I'll wait a little bit and see.