Alternate Streams

I've been thinking a lot lately about chance and fate. About choices or circumstances that lead to one set of decisions whereas if something different had happened, an entirely different set of outcomes may have happened. I think in part I've been thinking about this because I've been thinking that while there are many things I would prefer to be different about my life, I'm actually fairly happy or at least pretty content at the moment. And I'm happy that I've gotten to experience a certain number of things in life. But what if it had all been different?

In particular I think that a large portion of my life direction hinges on the death of my Aunt. If she hadn't died, I think it would have been extremely likely that instead of going to Wash U, I would have ended up at U Mich. If I hadn't gone to Wash U, all sorts of things wouldn't have happened. People I wouldn't have met. Experiences I wouldn't have had. And I don't think I would have ended up here in London. I would have met an entirely different set of people. I would have gotten a lot closer to my family. Maybe I would have met someone. Maybe I would have stayed. Everything would be different.

But that's not what happened. And I wonder what it would have been like. I wish I had a mirror or movie that shows how it could have been. How things could have been different. How life would have been different. But the reality is, my Aunt did die, and while both schools were offering me a similar package, I liked Wash U better, and there was no reason to go to Michigan. There wasn't anything else there for me.

Almost nine years later, it's a funny sort of thing to think about.