04 May 2008

How Nice

It is fantastic to know that it's Sunday and I still have another day off work. A three day weekend is just what the doctor ordered. Yesterday was good. Went out with T and S into the city to find a dress for S which was successful. But we also had some yummy hot chocolate and cakes from CCK and managed to swing by the Japan Centre which was useful since both me and T needed some items. Then all of us went to a good to know bar that is centrally located. So good to know, that I'm reluctant to share it here, suffice to say, we had some extremely delicious drinks there to top off the day, and I now feel the need to research Frangelico and everything you can mix with it.

Today I need to head down to find my framer to get some prints that I bought framed. I was devastated to have sort of messed up one of the prints, but in part due to the packaging. The four prints came in a little plastic sleeve (I didn't get one of the bonus prints or drawings, boo hoo). At any rate, when I went to put them back in the sleeve, the sticky part of the plastic touched the front of one of the prints and lifted the ink straight off it! I thought I was going to cry. I have tried to fix it with some black ink, but of course the ink isn't the same as the printing colors and also it lifted a bit of the skin tone which I have no replacement for. It's not the end of the world because it was only one of the prints and it's not awful, but it isn't great either and I was so looking forward to these prints and so excited about them only to fuck one up as soon as I got it. Still, I'm going to frame them and it probably won't be particularly noticeable to anyone but me and whomever I point it out to.

Then later today I'm having dinner with D and V which should be really nice. V has been recovering from an illness/surgery for a long time and I haven't seen her for some time, though I've seen D here and there. They are probably some of the nicest and best suited for one another people I know and I think I enjoy spending time with them not only because they are easy to talk to and interesting and genuinely kind people, but also because they give me some degree of hope that a relationship exists that I can admire.

I saw my therapist for our first proper session on Friday and it occurred to me that I'm fairly judgmental about many of the relationships that my friends are in. For the most part meaning that they have relationships I probably don't respect and certainly wouldn't want for myself. This led me to fear that I had no basis for a relationship that I thought was a good relationship but then I was able to pull out a few that I think are probably good and healthy and admirable. I think one of my problems is I see that in many relationships one person has given up lots of things for the other person- or just to be in a relationship. Given up things they always held dear to their personalities, now discarded. And I recognize that I don't have much comfort with this tactic. Which is funny in a way, because I recognize in my own quasi relationships how I have been willing to adjust my desires or activities or expectations to better suit the person I was pursuing, but then why do I find it so abhorrent in others? Maybe it has to do with what things one is willing to sacrifice. I don't know. I'm sure I'll be talking about this with the therapist more in the future.

At any rate, things are a little bit more calm here. I'm still sad about the loss of Mr.Aloof but I'm dealing with it. And as expected, every day of distance it gets just that little bit easier. I'm sure I'll continue to obsess about it for some time- look them both up on the computer and such. Because I've done that with people in the past. But even that fades with time until eventually it really doesn't matter anymore at all.

So that's what's going on around here. Off to the market!

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