Without Direction

I think that my blogging may increase soon, seeing as how I suddenly have a lot of free time on my hands.

Friday was my last day at work.

Wednesday however, I managed to secure my indefinite leave to remain which means I was able to legally make Friday my last day of work, and that was all good. So I am legal to live here unemployed at the moment, which is better than being deported or a stick in the eye, I tell you.

This is probably one of very few times in my life where I have been without some good direction in terms of 'what happens next'. I have always generally had something to move towards or aim at. Now, I find that I am perhaps slightly at a loss. I know I want to be here (in the UK) at least for the next 12 months until I can get my citizenship. I know that I can support myself for maybe six months on my savings if I live like a frugal monk and pick up a little bit of this and that here and there. And I know that in all likelihood, I will be able to find a job within six months, and it will all be fine. Part of me is enjoying the idea of being able to do nothing- or knit, catch up on all my DVDs, go to the gym, cook, etc. In truth, I'm enough of a general homebody that it won't bother me too much to 'be at home' but part of me will feel the pressure, to be sure.

It's always been very important to me that I be able to support myself, and I am worried that I may not be able to, even though I know that I can for a little bit and it will probably be okay.

So that's what's going on around here. It's not very exciting or uplifting to be honest. I wish it was. I feel as though I was a very boring person before who was fixated on work and now I'm going to become even more boring because I will be doing my best to not save money and pass time. I mean, how boring is that? Although making stuff is always fun and entertaining, so I'm sure I'll start talking about that as soon as I start doing it. And of course there will be the intermittent job leads and interviews all here and there as well.

It's just really weird. I'm actually very detached from my emotions at the moment which is probably a good thing. A little bit like being in shock. It helps me get through it all without falling to pieces, but it makes it all seem like I'm living someone else's dream and nothing is very tangible or real.

I'm sure I'll snap out of it soon.