Poker

Okay, to continue the story week that was, let me try to remember what happened. I left off on Sunday night. Monday was work. I feel like we did something that night. Went out to dinner perhaps? But I can't remember now where or with who. Still, I feel general certainty that we did not eat at home. And tlsd couldn't join because it was Monday and she was busy. But what did we do? I really can't recall.

Tuesday we had dinner at home which was lovely. Wednesday I feel like we went out again? And Thursday we went to meet up with some guys SH knew in north London to go to a poker tournament.

Now I should point out, that I don't know how to play poker. But SH told me that it was no big deal because you could either play or just observe and there would be food and drinks available. So I figured I'd just go watch and it would be fine.

We were running late and her friend R picked us up at the tube and off we went. When we got to the door, they already had our names. And R had already paid our entry. I started to panic. Okay, it was just for charity, but seriously, I had no idea how to play! This started to not feel very good at all....

I resign myself to making a complete ass out of myself and say to SH on the way in, "So you get dealt five cards, right?".

She looked at me like I was nuts. "No, you get two, we're playing Texas Hold'em. Oh honey....", she trailed off as we enter a room with five busy tables of 8 people each playing some serious poker. A thin man in a black suit approached us quickly with yellow cards in his hand face down. We pulled cards and it became clear to me that we were being sent off to three entirely different tables. Worse and worse and worse.

Approaching my table of seven serious looking men, I tried to figure out where my seat was supposed to be. One of the guys had a rather vacant looking girlfriend at his side and it was clear she'd taken my seat. No one looked at me as I approached. No one acknowledged me at all.

I asked the suited man if there was a seat and he, and some other woman who was working there scrambled to find me one, and get me my chips. Still no one gave me a single glance. I sat at the table. My chips arrived. The next hand was coming up. "Excuse me," I said to the table, "but I have no idea how to play this game and any advice would be appreciated." The steely eye of the unanimous male table turned to look at me.

Cards started to be dealt and I got some haphazard instruction. I was dealt two tens. I thought one pair wasn't very good, and I figured I'd fold. But someone else who folded offered to help me through my first hand. "No!" he said upon seeing my cards, "Raise!". So I did and around it went. Cards were dealt on the table. I really wasn't keeping up with what they meant. "Go all in!", my advisor advised. The table erupted in an outroar.

"Don't tell her to do that!"

"What the hell man?"

"I'm not playing with this shit!"

Oops. I hardly anticipated creating quite a stir. Of course I didn't care- what the hell did I know. Given the testosterone at the table, if I lost all my chips this hand, I wouldn't care at all just to be free of these guys. I went for it. The cards were dealt.

And I won.

The uproar doubled. Clearly no one was happy about my big win. Because I had help. Because one guy in particular felt slightly cheated. Though I don't see how, I still technically won on my cards, it's not like I didn't or he folded. Still, the table settled in and I played on my own. Occasionally asking a question, or making an error, but it went okay.

Then I won again.

Then I had so many chips that I didn't care. One of the guys said "Go on, match for fun!". So I did. And I won!

I kept playing okay up until the break. When you couldn't buy in anymore and the tournament aspect truly began. After the break it was as if the testosterone dial was turned up even higher, and playing really was no longer fun. I bet my chips on bad hands and got out of the game, I'd had enough fun for one evening, and it was getting far too serious for my liking.

Unfortunately, while both SH and I were out, the boys were still in. We didn't leave the poker tournament until almost midnight. And I had to go home- I had a meeting in the morning. So we went to the high street and found a cab company. And I left SH with R to get up to some fun and games. Which apparently they did since when I got up in the morning, SH wasn't in my bed and upon further inspection, was not on the sofa....

Which was a very interesting way to start the day that ended in a sex party....