Personally, I'm blaming it on stress. I have one week and then I'm off to the States for four weeks. Four whole weeks! What the fuck is that? It's something I still can't get over- the difference in 'time off' in this country and back home. It's unheard of to take off so much time. And not only that, I will come off it still with two weeks holiday to go! How's that for swank?
Still, the stress. I'm taking three exams. And I've only studied for one so far. That's probably a huge part of it. The flights. That's probably another. Leaving work in a tizzy is a third. Being gone from my 'home' for so long is another. I find that when I'm away for too long, and in particular when I'm with my parents, I feel like I lose myself. And I get depressed. Maybe I'm preemptively stressing about this fact as well. Just dealing with my parents.
And all the other stuff I need to do when I go home as well.
See, just thinking about it I'm feeling very tense and unhappy. Still, it doesn't entirely account for the emotional overspill. At the moment I'm just really feeling out of place. Like I don't belong here. Familiar things don't feel comfortable, they feel assaulting. Just this moment I sort of feel like I don't want to be here anymore.
I'm sure it's just stress.
2 comments:
How did it go at the weekend?
Did you execute a sucessful dump?
You know joe, I had to sit there and figure out what you were asking me about... Yeah, it went okay. Actually most people have said to me it's the nicest sounding break-up they've heard about. I didn't like doing it though, and I did get teary at one point. But no hard feelings and I think he agreed/it was mutual, it's just that I was the one to say it.... Ever onwards...
-K
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