Annoyed and Irritable

I wrote an entry in my paper journal last night. It's been ages. Months. About six in fact. I will always like certain things about my paper journal more than the blog. I will write more personal things there than I will ever write here. I think that's why I wrote in it last night. My thoughts have shifted to deeply personal. And this just isn't the place.

In part I'm gearing up for the break. People are already leaving. Instead of me leaving my life, my life is leaving me- well, for a week or so at least. Everything will become slightly out of kilter. Skewed and off center. And then we'll all be back like nothing happened.

There is so very much to do.

This week hasn't gone at all like I intended. Was in the hospital for the annual visit on Sunday. Another kidney stone maybe. Hard to say. They don't know. That's what they think. I'm feeling much better now, and it didn't get as bad as last year which is a good thing.

Heard from P. Date is on for tonight. I'm cooking for us at my house. Isn't that forward. Still, part of what is really pulling on my thoughts is how bad (for lack of any better word) our conversations seem to be when we aren't physically together. Each of the two times we've met, there has been no shortage or interruption in the flow of conversation (unless you count some necking). But the email, the texts.... stunted. Short. I don't know what to make of that. Some people are bad at email, or text. I can accept that. But if you meet someone you're interested in... don't you want to talk to them more? I don't know. It leaves me with a very strange feeling, that's hard to reconcile with my memory of hours spent in each others presence. It's with this conundrum in mind that he's coming over for dinner. I guess I just have to see how it goes. But the lack of good flow of conversation or even interest, in between, makes me truly uneasy.

I'm sure it will be fine.

Everything could of course be somewhat exacerbated by the kidney stones and hormones. Though the hormones should be slacking off by now. Well, whatever. I'm just feeling really grumpy still. I wasn't for a few days when I was just hurting. Maybe it just got shoved off a few days while my side was killing me and I'm just catching up with what I was due.

Maybe. Anyway, hopefully I'm just being a grouch and tonight will be lovely like our past two dates have been lovely.

At least I know the lamb cutlets will be good.