1. You can't hold a relationship together with sex. I've learned this the unpleasant way (though there were some great moments to offset all the heartache). Sex alone, no matter how good, does not a 'relationship' make. It doesn't matter how good it is. It doesn't matter if it's often intertwined with conversation and feelings of 'connection'. Of course you're feeling connected when you're fucking. It's not enough.
2. Once you've had great sex, it's very hard to settle for the less than mind-blowing. I'm sort of dealing with this now. Once upon a time I didn't know you could have it so good. Unfortunately, as per point number one, that was the only good thing I was having. Still, once someone has made you sing in this way, how do you not miss it? How do you not compare? It's impossible frankly. And it's just something you have to deal with- though how, I'm not quite sure.
3. Experimenting is good. I will never get tired of the infinite variations that come with sexual exploration. I wish I had fewer hang-ups. I wish I had better skills. Regardless, I will never keep trying new things. Learning new things is fantastic. There is nothing worse than sex that becomes routine. It's good to shake it up, have a repertoire of moves. Be able to keep your partner on edge. Be able to surprise your partner with something unexpected. Sometimes things work out, and sometimes they flop, but being scared to try is pointless.
4. Knowing what you like and being able to communicate that are critical to your own pleasure and enjoyment. Now I know this sounds obvious, but it amazes me how people either don't explore this, or find it impossible to communicate to the person whose fingers, tongues, and other appendages may be lodged in their own dark places. Otherwise known as the 'if you can't figure out how to give yourself an orgasm, how the hell do you expect someone else to do it' theory. Of course some things are difficult to communicate. How do you explain to someone that you like finesse? Tricky.
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