Taking Advice

So after the email exchange that set my mood plummeting, I discussed it with a few people. I had one friend and one newly met acquaintance both tell me that I was being ridiculous and that an invitation is an invitation and I was reading too much into it. Of course, I can't say that I was swayed by these opinions because it seemed perfectly obvious to me that I was being slighted.

I realize that I need to share the dialogue here because I haven't been explicit, but to make sense of the story (or offer an opinion, if you feel like it) I need to put down exactly what the exchange was, so it went like this (the rest of the emails that went with the excerpted comments, removed):

"... I'm glad you're pleased with your marks. I do fear they'll fade though, although that can always be rectified."

"It's true... marks fade away, though funny enough they stay yellow for an impressively long time. Still, a refresher may be just the thing... ;) What are you doing next weekend? My flatmate extended her trip by a week, so I've got the flat to myself until the 20th."

"...next weekend it's Oblivion and the Peer Rope Workshop. You're welcome to come, but I'm not sure it's that worth it to be honest."

"Hm... well... if you're busy next weekend, you're busy. That's cool. I don't really want to impose. I mean, I'd like to see you of course because when I have so much fun with someone, I tend to want more! ;) So... just let me know when you're next free and/or may want to meet up."

And then although he emailed me, there was not a single mention of meeting up at all. And that's when I wrote my last post, and yes, my feelings were hurt. And stayed hurt as we continued to email and no suggestion of meeting up was made at all.

But yesterday when I related the same story to my therapist, she also *ahem* suggested, that I was taking it the wrong way. I think I was surprised actually because it was so very clear to me- the way I interpreted the situation was correct. But she said that I should just write Heathrow and say actually yes, I'd be keen on hanging out over the weekend and that was that. I thought this was ridiculous. But the fact that my shrink said it rather gave me pause.

Because I completely read what he wrote as a non-invitation. Still, I was so annoyed about it, that after having three people say I was wrong I just figured oh fuck it so since we were emailing anyway, last night I tacked on to my email that I'd been thinking about the weekend and actually I'd quite like to go to a club if he didn't mind me crashing and we could hang out Saturday and I'd head back to London.

And lo and behold he writes enthused about my attendance and extended my suggestion to include Sunday and a trip to Warwick. It was all completely fine or even better than fine and I was completely and totally wrong.

Although I still don't understand why he couldn't sound a bit more enthusiastic in the original invitation because it really didn't seem like an invitation. And then after what I wrote- to write nothing at all, he could have easily come back and said it wasn't an imposition at all and I should come. So in my mind, all signs pointed to my version of events and yet that was not the case. I was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

Not that I'm unhappy about it in this particular case, but still. It's hard to shake the feeling that I was right. Or rather, it's hard to understand how I shouldn't have felt how I did. Something to work on.

But that's all good. Then in other news I'm now applying for a job in Oxford (which seems far more reasonable than Dublin and yes, would be a bitch of a commute but I could do it) and got another small 3d modeling job on referral for the one I just completed, so that was cool. And while I'm hardly out of the woods yet, I feel far more positive than I did yesterday.

And then I just think it's ridiculous that my mood is so swayed by my relationships and interactions, but so be it. I'm a soppy moody girl who gets affected by girl things. Whatever.