Dishwasher

I just made a rather large amount of dishes dirty to make a rather small portion of food. In fact, it was just enough food for one person for a meal. When I started, I thought that maybe I'd have leftovers and enough for lunch and wouldn't that be nice. By the time I was done, I was surprised that I didn't even fill a single bowl. Well, I mostly filled one bowl. But that was it. Though it was tasty. Yum yum.

News of the moment is that I've been called in to interview for the teaching position I applied for, but I haven't heard anything yet from any of the three funded PhD's I'm waiting on. Even the Birmingham one which I called earlier this week in general frustration of not having heard anything at all since handing in the last asked for submission. I had to leave a message though- no one answered the phone.

I'm excited about the teaching interview although of course now I'm completely plagued by doubt that I'm not actually good enough for the job. I wrote the application with confidence and now I'm freaking out a bit. The interview is a week from Monday though- so there's time to get my head in a better space. It's only a 30 minute interview apparently. I wonder how many people they're seeing?

I continue to have some work at the old office which continues to be a life saver at the moment. It's my only income and I desperately need it. At the moment I'm working on the money that will see me through October. I've got August and September covered as long as I don't spend anything big (or medium). It's good to know I'm now okay for a couple of months, but still frustrating to be so close to not being okay and worried about when this particular cash flow is going to dry up.

I'm off to see Heathrow tomorrow in Cambridge and we're going to a bdsm club that I've gone with him to a couple of times now. I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm not a huge fan of bdsm clubs- mainly because I'm not interested in casual play with people. Even if I know people, it's too intimate- it doesn't turn me on. I don't mind playing at a club with someone I'm with, but then Heathrow and I don't really play at clubs together. He might tie some people up and I may or may not get involved in something but rarely do we get involved in something together. This is generally because of him- he says that when he is sleeping with someone, he finds his interest in doing bdsm things to them dwindles. Which seems a bit odd to me. It's not that I'm lacking in cuddles and attention otherwise, but just not a huge amount of kink attention. Although saying that, the weekend before last we had a very fun episode that involved vet wrap, rope, and some scissors. And he tied me last weekend at the Peer. So I'm not saying it doesn't happen- but it's definitely not the focus of our interaction.

Anyway, so the club tomorrow night in Cambridge is the plan. Then whenever we get up on Saturday we'll drive to Heathrow to go sailing provided the weather is okay. Given what it looks like at the moment, maybe I should check that. There's a party at the reservoir in the evening but I don't think we decided if we're going to that. Then on Sunday there's another Peer in Coventry, but I'm not sure I'll go that. If I go, I won't get back to Cambridge until midnight or so and then I'll have to find my way back to Hackney to go to work on Monday so maybe it's not really worth it. But we said we'd play it by ear because maybe Heathrow won't go either. We'll see.

I cycled to work today. I think it's the first day I've cycled where my ass was not sore in some way. I think this is a good thing. I need to build up some endurance so I can enjoy the Skyride (previously Freewheel). Cycling to work is a good start but I realize I'm scared to try cycling to many other places. I cycled once to the Stoke Newington Reservoir which was good, but I think that's the only time I've really ventured out to somewhere new. I should work on this.

If I was smart I'd go pack my bag for tomorrow now as I need to pack a variety of things- a fetish outfit, sailing stuff, regular clothes, and possibly gym kit for the peer. I'm sure I'll leave it to the morning however.