15 October 2012

Drifting

Just read my last post and it seems it's entirely what I could say today.  Time has moved forward, writing has not happened.  Again, I can succinctly recall a list of highlights and other moments will be lost to time.  But it's true you know.  The older I get the less things seem to matter.  It used to mean a lot more to me to write things down.  Not just to write things down but to write things to other people.  I feel I have become more and more introverted.  I don't feel the pressing need to write things down as much as I used to.  I don't feel the pressing need to reach out and be in touch with my friends like I used to.  Which isn't to say that I'm not in touch with friends.  My social life at times seems to be ridiculously busy.  But it doesn't mean as much to me in terms of needing it as I think it used to.  I'm not sure I can convey what I mean succinctly.  Because I still crave contact with others.  Maybe I'm just more secure in it now.  And maybe I fight against things less.  Adult apathy has set in?  Not exactly.  I am still someone who holds very strong opinions and is fond of conveying them to people.  But something has shifted over all this time.  I know it.  I just can't put my finger on it.

Without further ado, the list of memories.
  • The Olympics were awesome.  I can't believe in fact, just how awesome they were.  I don't think I would ever travel to a city to see the Olympics, but to have it in my own city, and to end up with numerous tickets, mostly due to S, was incredible.  I went to four events and caught the woman's marathon in town.  I went to three Paralympic events as well.  It was a truly uplifting and inspirational series of events.  And the weather was good.  I can't wait for the park to re-open as a park.  The regeneration of the Stratford site as a park was exceptional.  Good memories, good times.
  • S and T came back from Australia and I got to hang out with S a lot which was good.  Olympic tickets and all.  There was drama, because with them there always seems to be some drama.  I miss S.  I miss having him around.  I hate that they're in Australia.  And I'm sad that they don't seem to love it all that much.  But they're there and saving money and have fallen back into a groove.  So we'll see.  S said he'd buy me a ticket to come visit them out there, so that's currently in the planning stages.  Long ass flights.  That's all I have to say.
  • My mom was here for 20 days.  and overall it went pretty well.  Only a few minor melt downs and one short big one.  Which really isn't bad for that length of time at all.  We went to Copenhagen, we went to Cambridge.  I got used to having her around, and I was sad when she left.  I am keenly aware that my time with my parents is less and less.  One day they will both be gone.  While I'm not super close with them in the sense that, we don't talk all the time.  As an only child, I know I will be sad in a way I cannot fathom now when they are truly and actually gone.  So I was glad to have what was, overall, a good experience with my mom.
  • Copenhagen was awesome.  God I love that city.  Not having been there since I was 20, it had obviously changed tremendously.  But some things hadn't.  And the city itself is just so liveable and comfortable, although ungodly expensive.  That was a great trip.
  • Which of course included a trip to NOMA.  Wow.  Just fucking wow.  Wow wow wow.  I can't believe we got the reservations.  I can't believe we really got to go.  I can't believe I spent that much on a meal but it was absolutely worth it and I would spend it again.  Amazingly unbelievable.  Wow.
  • After my mom left, I took a trip to Bordeaux with N.  Ostensibly it was to practice my french, which I have kept up with, but it was also to just have a real holiday holiday without family.  It was great actually.  Bordeaux is a lovely city and N was a fun traveling companion.  We stayed on budget which was awesome.  We ate a lot of duck which was awesome.  We cycled bikes which was awesome.  I'd like to make more excursions to France.  What would really be cool would be a residential language week.
  • My work continues to truck along.  It's getting there, albeit slowly.  P is now officially my supervisor and A is gone.  That was awkward.  I still feel it's a very lonely and solitary exercise this PhD malarkey.  I will be glad when it's over.  I will also be in a state of disbelieve, I'm sure.
  • S had her twin boys two months early.  The little one has heart trouble and will need open heart surgery but they all seem to be okay at the moment.  I hope she's happy.  The more I see people with kids, the less I want them in reality, although I would still like a family in theory.  As there is no dating going on in my life, that's a distant prospect at best.  In fact I feel fairly conflicted about the children issue.
  • Although other friends of mine are still having ongoing children issues.  What I want is for my friends to be happy.  I'm not always sure that children make you happy, but what I want is for my friends to be happy, so I try to support them, in whatever they are trying to do to achieve their happiness.
  • I have some teaching work which is great.  As I only have a year left on the PhD give or take, I'm starting to think about work things.  The future is a murky place.
I think that's a reasonable catch up since my last post.  Like I said, I'm sure there are many things I forgot.  Things of importance.  Things of note.  Now lost.  It's silly to say I'll try to write more, because it doesn't really matter.  I do want to write more.  I have things on my mind.  Maybe I'm being defeatist.  I don't write because I've given up hope that anything will change.  We'll see.  A bien tot.

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