A Weekend in Parts - Friday

I need to record for myself all of the things that happened over the past weekend. It was a lot. I've probably already forgotten many things that I'd prefer to remember. Such is the way of things. In order to make it more digestible, I'm splitting it into days.

I got a text first thing Friday morning with instructions for a task. The task was to email 3 bdsm based images from my erotic collection- one which represented something that would be desired and achievable over the weekend, one that is something desired but maybe in the future, and the third was an image of my choice with an explanation of my choice. I pondered this task all morning as I ran about doing various things. I managed to send it just before heading out to a meeting about some new work. The task was tricky for me. Exposing. I also realize that my taste in erotica is more emotive than actual. Meaning many of the images I collect and admire are not of specific 'activities' necessarily, but rather represent a feeling, a sensation, an emotion- and to me that's the attraction. So it was hard to find photos of actual things to do. But I managed it. The third photo, the one that was my choice (by Siege), is the one I'm titling this post with.

So after rushing about doing things all day, I packed my rucksack with all the things I thought I might need over the weekend, and headed off to Cambridge to meet Heathrow. It was an easy train journey and he picked me up at the station. We went straight to R's house where we had been two weekends before. We were meeting there to go to a club and there was another woman already at R's, and then R2 showed up as well. We ate some food and chatted and then it was time to get changed and go. I brought my gold corset, knee length sheer black flowy skirt, fishnets, black boots, and silk knickers. I also pulled out a silver tank top in case I got up to anything and the corset got removed I would have something else to wear. I'm not really an exhibitionist. I got dressed but held off on lacing the corset until we got to the club which I'd never considered before. Much more clever to travel with it on loose so as to be able to get in and out of cars and such. Learn something new and all that.

So we got to the club and were some of the first people there because R and Heathrow bring along some kit that is stored at R's and set it up for the club. So they did that and C and I got a tour from R2 who also did me the favor of tightening the corset. We then got drinks and socialized as people arrived. It was a very different environment to the last bdsm club I went to- more intimate and smaller. I think also because it caters to the Cambridge scene which is smaller and more intimate, it just follows on from there that it's part of that culture compared to say, the London scene. The space hosts this club once a month and is a swingers club otherwise. This means it's set up for varying activities. Downstairs was the bar and the main area with equipment, floorspace, and seating around the edges. Upstairs were some 'bedrooms'- and a den sort of room and also a clean room for blood play.

After being there for about an hour Heathrow asked me if I wanted to go chill in the van for a bit as he was pretty knackered from the end of the week and I was happy with that because as much as I thought the club was interesting, I of course came up to see Heathrow, so time alone sounded good to me. So we wandered out to the van and ended up in bed- although I stayed dressed which was funny only because you aren't very bendy in a corset and getting around a camper van in a corset is awkward to say the least. But it was nice. We cuddled and kissed and then the conversation somehow got serious and not by my bringing it up. Basically Heathrow said that he'd read through all of my IC posts and carefully read my profile again and was concerned about what I was wanting and looking for. Now, since I know what it says in my profile and posts, I countered that by asking him what he was looking for. And we proceeded to have a very convoluted and not resolved conversation about whatever the hell we're doing. But I'll recap it as this. I think, that he's not ready to be in a relationship right now. He doesn't want to give up his activities, and doesn't think he's at a place in his life where this fits. My counter point was that I know him and his eccentricities and am not looking to pursue a relationship with him to change him, but accept who he is and still want to pursue a relationship. He acknowledged that we share something that is special and unique and beyond 'playing' or 'messing about' but that he doesn't want to ruin our friendship.

So... we aren't dating. We're sharing things at an intensity that both of us think is not casual (and we aren't sharing with anyone else). And that's where it sits for now. I think there are three possible outcomes from here. One is that it just takes time to develop- specifically for him to adjust to what a relationship may or may not mean. Or, I may become closer and he will stay how he is which means at some point it won't be enough for me and I'll have to end it because I'll be unhappy (but I'm not at the moment). Or, we do whatever for a while and both grow apart. At any rate, I'm willing to give it some time and space to see what happens. I'm glad that he brought it up on his own and is at least thinking about it- And I think we have some sort of understanding, though with all things like this, it's tricky.

So we ended up going back in after an hour or two and things were much more in full swing- various scenes going on. I found myself being tied by Heathrow with my arms secure behind my back and around my corseted waist. It wasn't particularly tight so it could be left for a while. We had fun with that and then settled back onto one of the sofas chatting with people, then Heathrow got asked by someone to do a suspension on someone else so he and R went off a bit to do that and I stayed tied and chatting with people while watching the suspension and some other flogging and play going on which was all interesting.

I'm really not sure what time it was as things started to vaguely wind down. Probably around 2 in the morning. Half the people had gone or thereabouts and half were still lingering. Heathrow had untied me and I can't quite remember what was going on but we ended up alone in our corner of the main room and everyone else was by the bar and somehow we got onto the subject of my corset and I said something along the lines of I was looking forward to taking it off and he said why hadn't I and I said well we weren't that much longer so he told me to get up and turn around so I faced the wall away from the main room and he started undoing the corset. It's not that nudity isn't commonplace in fetish clubs, so I wasn't stressed about that- I guess it's just I don't love being looked at, so I am not an exhibitionist at heart. Saying that, I get a thrill out of 'being made' to be in that position in a place where I know it is safe and acceptable.

He had me put my hands over my head and wait while he dug out my tank top and then slipped it on and there was more hugging and touching and playing about and he took me by the hand and led me upstairs. Now, he and I share a similar thought process with the upstairs I think which is basically, nice in concept bad in practice. Neither he nor I really wanted to be anywhere there may be unidentified substances so we stood in the hall area and he messed about with him exposing me by removing bits of my clothes. It was that same thrilling eroticism knowing that people were downstairs and I could be seen, but it was still removed enough for me to enjoy the possibility without being confronted with the reality.

After a bit we ended up in the den room, me kneeling on the matted floor and him sitting on one of the sofas and we were playing and messing about when M, the woman who runs the club came up to collect some equipment. At this point I believe Heathrow had me by the nipples and was teasing me and nothing stopped because M was there, it was just amusing. I think she was probably more amused than anything else to be honest.

And so eventually we made our way back downstairs, everything was loaded back up into vehicles and we went back to R's. I can't remember so much from the rest of the evening except that I'm sure we stayed up even longer messing around and cuddling and making out. He started this evil little game where he wanted me to say dirty words and I am not a dirty word sort of girl so he would demand that I say it, and I would defer and he'd tickle me or torture me until I gave in. I know neither of us felt we got much sleep by the morning...