Dump

I know, again it's been a while. Not for lack of things to say, or lack of things going on. More time and inclination to be honest. It's not that I have anything exceptional to write about. It's more like... I've been holding off on just decompressing all of the thoughts that mill about my head, mostly having to do with people I engage with in life.

Everyone needs a place to dump.

At the moment it seems to me like very few of my friends are particularly happy, for various reasons- and with more and less degrees and levels of 'of their own making'. It's hard.

Do you know what friends want for their friends more than anything else in the whole world (at least good friends that is, not back stabbing pseudo friends)? They want their friends to be happy. That's what I want. I want the people in my life that I know and care about to be happy. (And as a side note, I want all the jerks and assholes that I know about to suffer karmic retribution, but that's a separate post.)

It's just incredibly frustrating to watch your friends not be happy, particularly and specifically if they are partially or even wholly there, in whatever place they are in, because of something of their own making that they either aren't working on or won't even acknowledge, let alone recognize and then begin to work on. And you just watch them be unhappy and suffer to various degrees and of course there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

It's draining when you hear about all of these miseries and hurts. Not because I'm not sympathetic, or perhaps empathetic would be a more appropriate word, but because I just wish that these issues and cycles and patterns would shake the fuck up and move on already so that my most excellent friends, the people I love and cherish and care about and think are pretty awesome and amazing individuals can just have something more like the lives that they undoubtedly deserve.

It's hard because everyone has their own row to hoe. Has to learn their own lessons. Has to get there on their own. If it were that easy to learn just be hearing or by example, then we'd all be blissful right now. And I've certainly been there. You can't make people learn self truths, you can only be along the ride there for them, as they make their own way.

And I suppose what else is frustrating is that they may not get there at all. Maybe this is how the theory of reincarnation comes from. Maybe one life time really isn't enough to get to all the matters and issues. How sad then to think one shot is all you get. And maybe it makes sense in a spiritual sort of way to think that we work through issues through lifetimes until we do reach a higher place. And that everyone has the potential to get there in the end.

It just may take a long time. Longer than what I can see. So I guess it's not really comforting. There aren't any guarantees in life. You aren't 'owed' or 'promised' true love, a great job, money, health, etc. It doesn't work like that. You get the hand you get, and you have to learn to make the most of it. Be aware of what is within your control- try not to put all your fantasies of happiness in the realm of things you can't control. Be adaptable to change. Be open to new ideas or possibilities. Be willing to walk away and admit you were wrong, if you were. Not that any of these things are even easy, but for gods sake, WORK on it. Because you do really only get the one life that you're aware of. And being miserable or unhappy and repeating patterns and cycles endlessly seems like an incredible fucking waste.

(And if you're my friend, and I care about you, then you know what, you really do deserve to be happy. You do.)