City Living

Here's another post of processing things that have come up lately from more than one person. If I refer to the previous post of the three legged stool, this is probably the leg that I have had the least trouble with, at least for some time, and that is the concept of 'home'.

I was born into suburbs and I was raised initially in the suburbs. An experience which I think provided me with many good memories and experiences of digging in things and climbing things and growing things, not to mention the safety of the neighbourhood and the gang of kids who lived there (though that's slightly misleading because bad things could and did happen, but generally not the case). But when I was 9 we moved to the city. THE city, New York City. And it was a whole new world.

When people ask me where I'm from I say New York because I think it explains a lot more about how I engage with things and what shaped my world view. I was there as I matured from child to pseudo adult. My friends and I did not roam our neighbourhood but rather Manhattan. We hung out in Central Park, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, in Times Square, in Herald Square, in Soho Square. I can't even begin to name all the nooks and crannies that created the backdrop to my youth. But the reality is, this post isn't about that.

This post is about knowing as an adult where it is you want to live in life. What features of a place do you find the most comforting and desirable? I for one, have always known that I wanted to live in a city. It has never been a particular question in my mind when thinking upon the topic that I would be most happy in an urban environment. I don't need a garden, though I wouldn't mind a roof deck or a good sized balcony. But a square outside my house is almost just as good. Because although I think I could like gardening and sitting outside, it's not really what I want. I want to see people and hear noise and be a part of a hive of activity that I see as a city.

Saying this, I also came to realize over time that I didn't want to necessarily be in the hugest city. There is a certain scale of urbanism I find more attractive than others. I don't prefer Manhattan, I like Brooklyn better. And I like Boston better than New York any day. Which is probably why I like London even though it's a big global city, it's stature does a lot to mask this.

And in knowing this about myself, I can craft what I look for in a home. I'm not really conflicted about wanting a skyline view and a garden for the dog. I understand between those options which I would want more- because even though I can see attractive potential in a variety of scenarios, I know over time which one I would get bored with and which one I wouldn't. And it's not the city.

So I guess it confuses me sometimes when I meet people who swear fervently that they are 'city people' but then suddenly start talking about how they have to have a house and a garden and maybe even a car (or two). Because the thing is, then you aren't really a city person then are you? It's one thing to like the idea of a city and still want a suburban lifestyle and it's another thing entirely to like the idea of a city and embrace what it really means to be a part of it. How do they think the suburbs got invented anyway? But there seems to be such a stigma for someone to just up and admit that they'd rather live in a suburb. Which to my mind, is fair enough, but wouldn't it be better to be honest with yourself then try and make a square peg fit in a round hole?

Cities are expensive and dense. And there are compromises you make for the benefits you enjoy. If you don't enjoy them, then by all means move out. But if you do enjoy them, and you aren't a billionaire, then accept that maybe you don't actually need all those rooms and spaces in your house- not when there's a whole city to get out and explore.