Balance

At some point along my years of discussing life with my friends, someone, not me proposed this analogy of the three legged stool of life. Now, oddly, the purpose of this metaphor was not to suggest that the goal was somehow to get the three legs in balance, but rather to exemplify that it is pretty much impossible to ever get all three legs in balance and this is what gives people drive and motivation to change and work on themselves.

The main caveat being, if you could get two legs of your stool sorted, then you were probably doing okay. But if two or three legs were in disarray then you might find that instead of just being inspired and motivated you were actually depressed and discouraged.

In this particular metaphor, the three legs were as follows:

One was your work or profession, whatever that happened to be, and everything that it entails. Not only doing something that you want to be doing, but doing it where you want to be doing it, and with people that you want to be doing it with. People spend something like 30% of their lives at work, and if you consider that 33% you are sleeping, that means almost half of your waking hours are devoted to this particular past time. It's important for your personal well being to get it under control.

The second leg was your home. Where you live, under what circumstances, and with who. Obviously this also expands into something quite large because where you live starts to have an impact on what sorts of activities you do or don't do and what friends you see or don't see. A home is also not just something that gives back to you, but you must also put a lot of effort into as it will most likely mean a rent or mortgage (or the tolerance of parents and siblings), it requires cleaning and maintenance, and it contains or should contain those things that can give you respite from the world. A place for the physical expression of your inner self, however that needs to be.

The last leg is relationships. Or love. Not necessarily just friendships, though maybe I'm discounting that because I'm referencing myself and it should be included. It has to do with the emotional need to connect to other human beings. Oddly enough, out of all the three legs, this is the one that in many ways you may have the least control over. Because while you must live someplace, and you must be supported financially in some way (being out of work, I suppose, would mean your work leg was in distress), but there is no corresponding necessity related to emotional fulfilment. But it doesn't mean it's less important.

So in a nutshell there are the three legs. And if you go through your friends you will find that it's pretty difficult to find anyone where all three legs are strong and in balance. Usually there is one that is lagging behind the others. And then there are friends where two legs are gone and they may be struggling more, and then there are those with all three out of whack and they are pretty much a mess.

For me the legs have mostly been consistent. It's always my relationship leg that's given me the most trouble, but at times my home has given me trouble, and certainly this past year my work has as well (but was complimented at least by something of a respite in the relationship leg which worked out well). I think I'm back to my standard position, that it's the relationship leg that causes me the most grief. Work has sorted itself out this year, and I love my home and have for some time, so that's all good. And I do my best to work on the relationship leg, I think I've made a bit of progress in the past two years lets say. So that's good. And I am hopeful about opportunities in the future, mainly that I am about to meet a whole bunch of new people and you never know where that could lead. So although it's not where I want it to be by far, it's also not quite so bad a mess as it's been in the past.

The stool isn't really ever supposed to be able to be balanced, but I think I'm pretty okay with where mine is at for now.