New Year - It's About Change

I would never be so stupid as to say that the next year can't possibly be as bad as the last. I mean, that would just be tempting fate in a way that is silly. And anyway, I fully understand that things can always get worse. In fact, I think this mantra is something that helps me get through many a sticky situation. The full knowledge that things can always be worse.

So I don't feel the need to tempt mistress karma, but I do fervently hope that 2009 is a shade better for me than 2008. No heart wrenching break-ups, no ovary scares, no loss of jobs. I'd like to say no unemployment, but since I'm starting off the year that way, lets just hope for a short lived unemployment.

In fact, for as many things that I cite as bad about 2008, my hope is that it has been something of a purging. What I see that 2009 must bring for me, is change. Change tends to be unpleasant when one is going through it, but change, when executed correctly, can also be the best way to bring about positive things in ones life. Too often we get stuck in cycles and repetition- in comfort. Or at least I do. I'm happy with the status quo. Even when I know that things should change, I am often reluctant to make that change. So when things happen that are either beyond my control, or leave me no choice but to act, and I am forced to change, it can be a stressful time. The thing is, I often come out of these situations okay, and sometimes even well.

When people write New Years resolutions, I think it's about a time when we focus on our desire to change. And the running joke of course, is that we know how difficult it is, and how unlikely we are to actually do so. But for me, for this year, the change isn't optional.

I will get a new job, either doing what I do, or doing something else. Regardless, it will be a big change for me.

I will continue to work on the relationship thing. Yes, I despair of ever having a relationship, and the likelihood of my 2009 being a year without one entirely as opposed to getting one is pretty strong given past experience and past years. But there is no more Mr.Aloof for me. And this means at least that the potential is greater than if there was. And I hope that the therapy is helping, even in a small way, and that I am more ready for a relationship- one that I really want. And maybe, just maybe, I'll get one.

I will be there for my friends through all of the changes in their lives. By default, when my friend's situations change, my own situation subtly changes because my friends are like my family. And I wish them all the best in their new years as well.

And then there are the small things. A desire to get my driving license. A desire to travel. A desire to cook more. A desire to be more fit. A desire to learn things. A desire to make things. I hope that my 2009 has more laughter than tears. More smiles than frowns. More content than longing. I hope that the change that must come sees me land on my feet, and sees me improve in my life and as a person.

(And if it's all a touch better than 2008, that wouldn't be a bad thing at all.)

Happy New Year (to my tiny group of readers) may 2009 bring you the changes you desire and deserve.