Stress?

At the moment I am battling a mild headache. I think I have had undercurrents of a headache for a few days now actually. I'm not really sure why. I don't often get headaches and when I do is normally for some specific reason or another. I wonder this time if it's not from sitting on the sofa too much- unsupporting my back and neck or some such.

I also note that my skin has been itchy as well which is frequently a sign of stress- or weather change. It's not really bad yet, but it's on that borderline edge of not being quite right. It could break out, or it could just stay like this and eventually clear up. Dunno.

I managed to arrange to have a washing machine repair person come around tomorrow. I really hope they can fix it. I'm desperate to do some laundry now. I really want the house to be generally clean and put together by the time my flatmate comes home on the 12th. Oh, and I actually suppose it should be clean and put together on the 9th because I've volunteered to partake in a kinky photoshoot. I think I'll have to say more about that later.

Although that's not stressing me out- I'm actually kind of looking forward to that, though I need to remember to make an appointment for a bikini wax a few days ahead of time. I figure it's worth it.

So what else? The stupid maid made a post on IC today that revealed one of the small mysteries in the miserable time at the beginning of the year which had to do with what Mr.Aloof and toy had given her as a birthday gift. This particularly rankled me at the time as they'd only been together about 3 months and in the 3 years that I was involved with him and subsequently them, he never gave me anything at all. Not a single thing. Not even a card.

Anyway, I learned that what they gave her was a photo album full of photos of their time together that they had made for her. I found this annoying, though what else would I find it? I know, I know... stop looking this stuff up! But it's a sick fascination. I can't stop. As each small piece eventually falls into place I feel more.... grounded in many ways. I hate 'not knowing'- especially when it concerns me. Even well after the fact, anything that gives me clarity, in some ways gives me peace.

I don't know. This partners itself with the recent thought I had earlier today that I care less and less about Mr.Aloof and that's a good thing. I'm less interested in checking up on him specifically (though in fairness, there is very little, or really nothing, to check up on). I"m less concerned with him contacting me (he missed his most recent 5 week window, but I don't think I care). It's starting to feel like something I actually want to be behind me. But this has taken time. Lots of time. Almost an entire year of time. And I'm still scarred from this experience. I guess I always will be. I can move on in many ways, but I'll carry it with me probably forever. Sort of sucks.

Anyway, today I am leaving the house for the first time in four days I think. Going to dinner at X's house. Going to play on her Wii. Might even get stoned. In fact, I'm hoping to get stoned. Drink wine. Play Wii. Eat food. Should be good. I guess I should go take something for this headache then.