Where is she?

So tomorrow morning bright and early is my egg collection.   I have to leave my house at 7:30 to get there by 8:30 for my procedure at 9:00. It should all be over by 9:10- but then I need to come out of the sedation, so I won't be leaving until 10:00 at the earliest, and maybe as late as 11:00.

In the meantime, it's been a weird week.  My flatmate has been acting bizarre ever since the incident last weekend.  You'd think if she actually felt 'unsafe' in the area, that she would try to get home before 10pm on any given night since.  But she hasn't.  It occurs to me that perhaps she is out looking at other flats to move in to.  Of course she hasn't said that to me- but it's an entirely reasonable conclusion.  And would explain some of her behavior. 

That's fine by me if she chooses to move out, although I look forward to the conversation I have with her where I tell her I know she had her period all over the mattress and I want her to replace it with exactly the same one from Ikea as I don't think her deposit will cover the mattress plus the delivery.  And also, she's been sleeping on that mattress (without sheets of course, which is how it got nasty in the first place) since at least the start of the year.  Who does that??  She is so gross.

Because my egg collection is later than I anticipated it was going to be, it has thrown off my plans for the week.  I should have been in Cambridge now.  I'm missing all sorts of stuff tomorrow.  Although I'm going to try to travel up in the evening, it will depend on how I'm feeling.  It's all an outpatient procedure, so honestly I should be fine after a bit of a nap.  Certainly fine enough to go for a short walk and sit on a train.  But who knows.  It's still a medical procedure and things could go not as planned.

I haven't been good about getting on with my work in the past week.  Or today.  I sat around all day today, not working.  I could have been working.  I didn't.  How the fuck am I going to finish this Phd??  I just need to get into a good pattern and get on with it.  My inertia is in part fueled by my ever present procrastination bone but also by being completely overwhelmed.  I'm sure it will all move along, I've just hit a low spot.  And all the egg freezing stuff just provided an inconvenient distraction.  As that is over tomorrow, I should be able to get back some focus.

Not too much else to talk about here.  Just annoyed at the flat mate.  I prefer to know what's going on then feel like I'm being avoided or that she's keeping secrets from me.  And I'm sure the extra hormones don't really help with my feelings at the moment.

Still cruising dating sites.  Have had a few dates the past couple of weeks as well.  Nothing good out of it.  One guy I've met twice, but I don't think it's going to go further.  I might meet him a third time, but I have very low expectations.  In the meantime there's another guy I should make plans to have a first meeting with, but I'm not even feeling very motivated to do that.  Ah well.

It's just too much stuff going on. 

Sometimes I feel awfully alone.