Spurning Stuff

Stuff isn't going to make you happy. Stuff might make you happy for a short while. The reality though, is that for the happiness you gain fleetingly, in most cases, it is then followed with a burden and responsibility of dealing with the stuff that no longer pleases you in the way it initially did.

I suppose as children, as we grow and learn, this is counter intuitive. Every year of a growing person's life, they have a necessity to get new stuff, be it clothes that fit or books or toys that keep a pace of development. And this I don't have a problem with.

But did you ever consider that it sets up a template for adult life that is not sensible? I certainly find the older I get the less things I want. Don't get me wrong, I am frequently pleased by the knowledge of the existence of things. I experience a vicarious sort of joy in the experience through knowledge of other people's creative endeavors and making ability. But I no longer covet these things. In many ways, simply knowing that they exist is enough.

I make my choices differently these days. I consider purchases to be made. I think about where in my house something is going to fit. I weigh out how much I think I will use something. I think about how long the item in question will last. I have so many books now, that I have to consider if a book is shelf-worthy or not. Although in this instance, it is not thinking that keeps me from buying a book, it does however, keep me from keeping a book. I can no longer keep all the books I read. The ones that get kept must truly be worthy.

I still want my chair. But getting this chair will be something of a lifetime pursuit. And I know when I get the chair, I will not ever want to give it up, and I will not want another chair to replace it. So this also seems a worthwhile love affair.

But stuff. Stuff is what dreams are made of. But dreams can haunt you, you know? They can plague you, and they can turn into nightmares. Maybe a good dose of reality is better than a dream sometimes.

All of this occurs to me this morning as a friend of mine is going into fits about not getting something she wants. Something that she thinks will make her happy. Because it seems to me sometimes her entire life is a series of benchmarks and achievements that someone else dictated. Somehow she's adopted this measuring stick and has a deep internal belief that the reason she is not happy in life is that she has not done or achieved or gotten all the stuff on the list. But you know, it doesn't matter if that stuff you're talking about is a 60 inch television or a ring on your finger. Thinking that stuff is going to make you happy is wrong. Stuff doesn't make people happy.

And watching people in pursuit of stuff, it's disheartening. So much time is spent craving. So much time that could otherwise be spent living.

It's not that goals are wrong though. It's a fine line this moderation of stuff. I don't think one should spurn all stuff, but maybe be a bit more thoughtful and selective about the stuff one chooses to covet. And a bit more flexibility and adaptability even about the stuff that is conscientiously selected. Because even if you know what it is you really want for all the right reasons, who says you get to have it? You can try your best, and you can be disappointed, but maybe you should think twice if you start to wander into the territory where your entire life is a failure if you can't get this one thing you've placed above all others.

I think I place being alive above everything else. My general health. Having my wits about me, and the ability to bounce back, the flexibility to transform. Maybe I get shot down, maybe I get hugely disappointed. But at the core of what I hold to be valuable, it's not 'stuff'- it's me. Oddly enough, the older I seem to get, the more that seems to matter. And the more it bothers me when people I know are so obsessed with 'stuff'.