Boy Logic

I will never, ever, understand it.

I had other stuff I would have written about. Pictures to share of better rope. Updating on how I didn't get the teaching job, although they really liked me so vaguely offered me a lesser position maybe. How I didn't get the two PhD's I applied for. How I'm still waiting on Birmingham. How I've applied for another PhD. How it feels to be working back at my old office.

Instead, Heathrow is behaving inexplicably and it's upsetting me so I'm going to write about that instead.

Last Friday we were emailing, as we usually email and had been throughout the week. We exchanged some emails about his website. He asked me for feedback, I gave it. I sent other websites as examples. It all seemed like fine and normal conversation. Then he said he was going to bed (at the end of his last email) so I replied to all the other stuff he said and signed off.

The only thing about this exchange that I can call out as different or unusual in any way shape or form is that when I sent my goodnight email his way, I signed it off just not with my usual -K but with an xo -K. It wasn't some sort of intentional gesture. It was like... he was going to sleep. So, you know, hug and kiss goodnight. But it has occurred to me that I never signed any email to him with any sort of hug or kiss before.

Suffice to say, he hasn't said a single word to me since then, via email or otherwise.

I've sent him a couple of things. Some humor I found on the web and a normal chatty email. But I've gotten nothing. It's been abrupt. It's not been explained. It's not the normal pattern. And I am not at all pleased. I don't know- did I freak him out or something? Probably. He's clearly made some sort of decision not to talk to me this week (and for who knows how long), but just neglected to inform me of this decision which is, frankly, hurtful.

I don't care if we're dating or not dating or whatever the story is. But when your behavior towards someone changes so drastically without warning or explanation it's bound to upset the other person in question. And I am upset.

I just don't know what to do about it. It's more in my nature to come out blunt and honest. I don't do the pussyfooting game. I'd rather get things out in the open and if someone isn't willing to do it themselves, I'm the one who is quite happy to throw the lid off myself.

But I feel this is not the correct approach in this case because it's likely to inflame whatever the hell is going on as opposed to addressing it. On the other hand, how long am I supposed to wait being ignored before I happen to mention that I've noticed, and that I don't like it?

And let me assure you, I really don't like it. It's the sort of behavior that gets my hackles up entirely and makes me become instantly defensive and be argumentative and ready to fight. Which is clearly not the right attitude to have when addressing this sensitive matter.

Stupid boy logic.