Chances

Let me get the most important news out of the way first. I have made it to the interview round for the PhD. My understanding is they have invited five candidates to prepare a fifteen minute presentation followed by a fifteen minute question and answer period. The topic of the presentation is good. Like a design problem. And I am all over it. In my head that is. I actually need to start getting it out into format and testing the timing of the presentation as I've been told it will be a rigorous and unforgiving fifteen minute window.

Still, what this means is I am down to the final five for this research. I imagine there were a few hundred applications, at least, so that's pretty cool isn't it? I'm sure all the candidates are pretty good though. So it's going to need to be a good show for the final round. But I have a chance. That's what's important.

I would be working on that this week if I hadn't managed to swing a small job for the week which takes precedence I'm afraid. Especially since I didn't really make much last week, and even though I made something, I haven't been paid for it yet, so that's not great. I mean, I will get paid- it just hasn't come through yet, so I haven't earned anything for almost four weeks now. At least I got paid finally for my last bit of the part time work I did, so that's going into my account pronto. It's down to counting pennies these days again. No fun.

Had a really good bank holiday weekend which saw me pass my RYA level 2 sailing course. I did this at the Stoke Newington Reservoir Centre which is not so far from here. It was really good. The wind wasn't as steady as one might like for practicing certain maneuvers, but overall it was really good and I got a serious workout in after six hours of sailing for two days in a row! I wish I had more funds so I could pursue this a bit better, but it's tricky at the moment to balance things I'd like to pursue with the resources to actually do them.

Guitar lessons also fall into this category.

Then Sunday night I went west to see Heathrow and we spent Monday together- went to Windsor and went around and then his friend T launched his little fishing boat at Windsor and we hopped on board for a bit of a boat up and down the river there.

I feel in some ways I had a very grounding time with Heathrow in terms of where I see us at, and what potential I think there is. And in many ways it reiterated for me that Heathrow is not a forever prospect. I really enjoy time with Heathrow, and I like him, but he has a lot of development to do for lack of a better way of putting it. I see him struggle with himself and recognize completely that he is in no position to include others into his life- really. I know he likes me and cares about me, but that's just what it is. It's not hurtful- because it's not personal. Part of me wants to say we just aren't compatible in that way, but I think the reality is, Heathrow can't be compatible with anyone in that way right now in his life. That's okay. I am still enjoying our time together tremendously and I am not feeling paranoid about anything at the moment. This, as far as I'm concerned, is positive.

Of course it makes me a little bit sad as well, but until I feel that it's not satisfying me and I want something more, or something different, then that's okay. I will enjoy what we share to the fullest, for as long as we share it.

So I guess I should start doing the work I'm supposed to be doing today since I made a notation to myself that I started working at nine and it's now eleven and I've done fuck all about actual work stuff yet. Looks like it'll be a bit of a late night.